Lilith-Stuff

So long 2011

2011-12-31T16:22:00.012Z

It is being said that 2012 will be a hairier year than we have seen in a while, if ever, at least for the UK.

On a personal level 2011 was a poor year for communication. Almost no blogging, unreturned calls and emails, birthday cards sent late if at all. Crap. If I don't return a call the same day it gets relegated to an anxiety zone where it gets less and less likely to be returned. My theory is that because I spent hours, and I mean hours, on the phone from the age of 12 to the age of 40 I have had my fair share of phone time. Obviously this is not great for business or friendships in general. Emails get pretty much the same treatment. Must do better.

Elby was poorly and helpless for a month twice this year...once in January for the other hip and once in November for pleurisy. Horrid. I had to do all the cooking and dog walking! Can you imagine? But today is our second wedding anniversary and I still love him so that's ok. I will be stricter about his vitamin regimen and maybe do some more cooking and dog walking in 2012 so he doesn't get so exhausted.

I watched the entire CSI oeuvre in 2011 (the Las Vegas one) all 11 series. Could explain why I can no longer communicate meaningfully. In 2012 I hope to watch less glossy US crap full of decomposing body parts. You gotta love all the equipment and status those CSI guys have, let alone their sensitive touch, and all that untethered hair at crime scenes...I asked a local policewoman if it was representative and she said "Well, we do have the black powder and the little brush".

Elby was blessed with a grandson.

Crochet went from strength to strength. I have made things that people actually wear, and I mean people I am not related to! I have made hats and shawls and wristwarmers, always in sumptuous wools, silk and alpaca so making stuff is an utterly gorgeous experience. I have found that with a little research there is never much need to pay more than half price for a skein of yarn unless you are dealing with this year's production. And it can be done whilst watching Wallander. However, the wool stash is getting out of hand. If I sold something at cost price of the the yarn (RRP)for every item I gave away I could fund my wool habit. Perhaps I'll try that in 2012, if anyone has any money left to buy a cosy soft hat..

Calfy got back from Syria in April only to move on to Sweden in July. In between she iced a cake for her sister.

Calfy also came home from Sweden to my relief, and now speaks Swedish as well as a smattering of Arabic (?!). She also cooks (not something she learnt from me) so that impresses me a lot. What next? Sudan? Seychelles? Switzerland? I need to find her a diplomat to marry.

The dogs have been darling, working for their keep by having paying guests. This is MuMu,
who is as upper class as Pig and Poppy are bumkins. She loves coming to play.

.

Anyway, I still read everyone's blogs and am vastly appreciative that you are all out there informing and amusing me. Happy New Year!

Lilith's Domestic Tips #2

2011-10-15T21:58:00.002+01:00

Elby recently purchased one of these things.

It is called a Razorpit and it keeps your disposable blades sharp for weeks and weeks. It really works.

David Cameron hates tradition and small business.

2011-10-10T12:12:00.003+01:00

Why else would he consider a tax on bacon, sausages, butter and black pudding?

" "B&Bs are one of the glories of the British tourist industry...
the antidote to the claustrophobic uniformity of chain hotels.
Britain’s vast network of B&Bs is something that foreigners envy
but appear unable to emulate." The Times, 12 June 2008

The "Bed and Breakfast" sector in the UK is a £2 billion 'cottage industry'. The best of the new generation of B&Bs are everything tourists now look for: small-scale, individual, high quality and with one-to-one personal service. The total "bedstock" of independent B&Bs makes up a fifth of the total 'serviced accommodation' sector in the UK.

The B&B sector's turnover is over £2 billion, making it 28% bigger than the 'budget hotels' sector, and 35% of the size of the UK's hotels sector."

The Bed and Breakfast Association."

There must be a a more relevant way to tackle obesity than attacking small business and national cuisine.

Quote of the Day - Electro Kevin

2011-07-16T16:47:00.002+01:00

"If our Prime Ministers really are beholden to the Right Wing Murdoch press then why do we keep on getting served every bit of the fucking Guardian's agenda?"

E-K

Only in Somerset

2011-06-03T19:39:00.001+01:00

Fondue

Useful links: the world is ending next Saturday

2011-05-15T21:43:00.004+01:00

According to this very useful link the world will end on Saturday, or rather it is Judgement Day as predicted by Ezekiel and these people.

Imagine how relieved I was to discover atheists offering post rapture pet care!

And there are a number of atheists ready to help you with a house clearance too!

Calfy coming home :-)

2011-04-11T07:32:00.004+01:00

To my great relief and her regret. Hopefully she will return to continue her studies. It really is a wonderful country with wonderful people. I have put up a poster of Assad here so she doesn't suddenly feel too misplaced. I have also been trying my hand at Levantine cookery.

There is a fabulous blog here with loads of yummy recipes.

Granddad got through his op and is being looked after in hospital by a nurse called Happiness.

The best place to be sick

2011-04-01T19:30:00.002+01:00

I have just been over to Southend to visit my poorly Dad who is having a kidney removed next week. He has been telling me how well the medics are looking after him I have been cynical, cross examining him on his medication/treatment. Here in North Somerset the elderly have strokes and wait for up to three weeks for a scan. They are sent home from A & E and told to ask their doctor to admit them the next day. They are given blood thinners before it has been established whether they have a bleed or a clot. When I visited my dying friend last autumn I found him scrunched in his bed in a side room, the bed having collapsed, dehydrated and ignored by the enormous nurses that must spend their entire salary on food.

Not so in Southend. Dad had an angiogram yesterday. I rang the cardiac day care to enquire as to what time I could collect him. The sister brightly answered the phone and with no hint of the what-is-it-now-why-are-you-bothering-me tone I have got used to with my local hospital, told me I could pick him up at 18.40. Gosh, that's precise I thought. Sure enough I found him mid banter with a nurse at 18.35 and I sprung him at 18.40.

Later that evening he began to spurt blood from his wound. Spectacular and worrying. I drove him to the hospital as fast as the speed cameras would allow. We both reasoned it would be faster than an ambulance. We walked in and he was seen immediately, which is something I have never experienced at any A & E, ever, for anything. The fastest I have ever encountered was an hour wait for a doc to look over Calfy when she fell on her head and she was the only patient waiting. It wasn't as if the waiting room was not full, it was. But they prioritised Dad and treated him and were sweet to him and we went home bandaged and fine.

Dad says that every department he has encountered in the hospital is like that. I couldn't believe it. I told him how lucky he is that his local hospital isn't Mid Staffs Morgue. I don't suppose the staff at Southend Hospital are paid any more than the staff in Bath. How is it that they can offer top notch care, when others fall so short of the minimum?

We need more prosecutors like this

2011-03-28T09:10:00.004+01:00

Our criminal justice system could learn from Hudspeth County Attorney Kit Bramblett

He said "‘Between me and the sheriff, we threw out enough of it or smoked enough so that there’s only three ounces, which is within my jurisdiction.’

Play on, Willie!

"Not-a-revolution: yet?"

2011-03-26T17:41:00.008Z

The Western media are getting very excited, trying to portray what is currently happening in Syria as akin to popular uprisings all over the Arab world.

The Americans are all for it. Guardian and Daily Mail readers are excited at the prospect of a bloodbath.

The Al Jazeera bint says "they don't dare to speak their minds" then interviews someone who says

"this is not a revolution, this is a call for reform"

"so you are not anti the government?"

"no"

"this is so-and-so for al jazeera in Daara where it is not a revolution or call for regime change.....YET!"

Calfy, who is studying in Damascus, posted this, which shows that what is happening is perhaps not "Just like Egypt/Tunisia/Libya/Bahrain/Yemen". Syrians are as similar to Egyptians and Libyans as the Trinidadians are to South Africans.

Update which confirms Calfy's experience

The Colonel

2011-02-23T23:47:00.001Z

HT Katabasis

Blast from the past

2011-01-22T19:41:00.001Z

this guy gave Elby his first Acid.

Music for a rainy Tuesday

2011-01-17T13:28:00.000Z

Happy New Year

2011-01-07T09:06:00.006Z

Well, a fun festive season had by all. Calfy manages to miss the only plane landing at Heathrow on the Tuesday before Christmas. Somehow she persuades the airline to find her a seat on the Thursday plane and not charge her :-)

Just after Christmas I develop viral conjunctivitis so I look like this and can't see. The net tells me it could be 4 weeks till I am better

(Appologies and thanks to Debbie)

Elby had another one of these yesterday, on the other hip.

The dogs are fine :-)

The Good Captain

2010-12-18T08:29:00.002Z

None of my women have tears in their eyes
You can ask 'em about me I swear
'n they'll tell you
That's one man I swear
Yeah that's a man

RIP

Michael Rosen, champion of youth literacy

2010-12-12T13:36:00.006Z

From the comments on an article about Literacy in CIF:

CorneliusLysergic

12 December 2010 9:54AM
Just the kids? A friend's 14 year old daughter notes that her RE teacher is unable to spell "atheist".

MichaelRosen

12 December 2010 9:57AM
CorneliusLysergic
Why do you think being able to spell 'atheist' is a mark of anything other than that someone hasn't spelled 'atheist' in the standard way? What makes you think that spelling signifies something anything more significant than itself? It's a complete fallacy.

Labour did just the opposite of one-size-fits-all. They encouraged academies, faith schools and specialist schools.

CorneliusLysergic

12 December 2010 12:42PM

@MichaelRosen 12 December 2010 9:57AM
CorneliusLysergic
Why do you think being able to spell 'atheist' is a mark of anything other than that someone hasn't spelled 'atheist' in the standard way? What makes you think that spelling signifies something anything more significant than itself? It's a complete fallacy.

In Rosen English

Wie du yoo fink been able 2 spel afeist is a marc of anyfink ovver than vat summon hasnt spelt afeeist in ve standrd weigh. Wot make u fink that splink signyfyes anyfink mor signiffikunt van itslf. Its a komplete phallusy.

That's where that goes, Mikey baby.

(Cornelius is Elby btw!)

Irish Finance Update

2010-12-08T08:18:00.003Z

H/T Nigel in Kent

Climate of Fear (h/t WOAR)

2010-11-22T12:42:00.006Z

Mrs Raft has suggested that making soup is a great way to occupy oneself in the current doom and gloom. Since October I have found that crochet is a fairly nifty distraction and also helps the repetitive strain injury caused by gripping the computer mouse.

Progress has been made and I like making things to keep people warm. I leave the soup to Elby as he somehow makes it taste like more than the sum of it's parts. When I make it, it tastes like hot water with onions and vegetables floating in it.

This is the first thing I made. It is a machine washable cot blanket for Elby's first grandchild, due in March.

This came next, an alpaca beanie, sadly too small to fit anyone but me :-)

Then I made this for a friend's doll. No pattern, just trial and error, proving how simple it is.

I just finished this shawl this weekend. It is alpaca/merino/silk mix yarn and feels utterly lush. The wool was a bargain (only £12 for the four skeins it took to make). A Christmas present.

These are for a cushion, made in a lovely cotton yarn. Another pressie.

Now I go to sleep wondering about colour combinations and wool densities rather than fretting about the Euro Gendarmerie, or the national debt.

11/11/10 Already forgotten

2010-11-11T12:00:00.004Z

Today I am very sad. An old friend is dying in hospital, whilst his family try to get him home. He is 88, and his war was spent in India and Burma, his time as an undergraduate cut short to get him to the front. He is one of the very finest human beings I have ever met. Gentle, immaculate in his grooming, twinkly and kind. Until two months ago he was playing 18 holes of golf twice a week. Until a month ago he still had accountancy clients. Then suddenly he couldn't breath, couldn't walk, his heart started failing and a series of strokes have put him in hospital. When I visited him on Tuesday I found him in a side room, contorted in a collapsed bed, with nothing to drink, and struggling to breath. Not one to make a fuss, even if he could reach the bell to summon a nurse. To the nurses he is just another old codger waiting to meet his maker, and they will get around to fixing his bed/fetching a bed pan/water/helping him to take a drink all in due course, but not until the pressing need has passed. He shouldn't be left alone. He should be at home with his loving wife of 65 years.

You are a darling man Alan, the very finest sort, I will miss you so much, and I will miss your war stories that your family tired of hearing years ago. May the bureaucrats get their arses into gear so that you may go peacefully, with a view of your garden, with your loving family around you. Thank you for everything you did to protect your fellows and to rebuild your country. I will miss you so. The world will be a lesser place without you.

What it is like being married to a Deadhead

2010-10-31T07:11:00.005Z

The Grateful Dead were pioneers in the world of rock and roll. They were the first to use great walls of speakers, and monitors too so that they could hear themselves. They also had such a huge musical repertoire, from Old Time, Blues, Cowboy songs, Rock and Roll, Disco, to Train Crash Psychedelic, that none of their gigs were the same. They also allowed audience members to tape the shows, and these tapes were always exchanged freely between Deadheads. Often recordings were made from the soundboard, and many of these have been released as CDs. At Dead concerts people jotted down the set list (if they could write). There are archives documenting each show with reviews such as The Tapers Compendium and analyses of their lyrics such as The Annotated Dead and huge vaults of recordings.

One of Elby's fine sons sent him this, a scenario which illustrates the title of this post uncannily.

A quick look at the media player on my computer shows 2825.2 GB of Grateful Dead or
7768:35:58 playing hours.

Hungary criminalises midwives.

2010-10-23T08:04:00.002+01:00

If you want a home birth move to Holland. It's all very Handmaids Tale. See here

Isn't the EU just wonderful?

Los 33

2010-10-22T20:23:00.001+01:00

Somerset reinvents the Wurzels

2010-10-20T18:45:00.002+01:00

I don't have a TV so never see ads...you may be sick of this one, but it tickled me.

Hurrah! Stay off the roads...

2010-09-29T22:40:00.004+01:00

Calfy passed her driving test today. It was 6th time lucky :-

Why I became a hooker

2010-09-25T11:35:00.005+01:00

September has been one of those months. Firstly Elby filled the diesel van up with unleaded petrol. Then Calfy took a train with a prebooked £8 fare and had to pay £89 excess because she didn't have her railcard on her. Poppy needs more surgery (on her other ear this time. At least her ears should match afterwards) Then I step on my specs, bending the frames beyond repair....

So, last Saturday I wandered up to the old part of town, determined to learn a new skill, a long held desire, not really planning to profit by it, only to give myself something to do with my hands other than slapping the side of my head.....

I bought a crochet hook and some yarn and to my surprise, produced these by the end of the weekend! It is easier than knitting by a long way, mainly because you can see pretty much straight away when you have gone wrong and wind back. I got all the instructions on Youtube; there are hundreds of people out there who want you to learn how to make a granny square!

Elby is of course very excited that I might make him one of these

or one of these

Pig was less excited when I showed him this

I have made progress and Elby is looking forward to a full set of coasters...

I even taught Calfy to do it last night...

Here are some inspiring crochet creations to keep me persevering :-)

Intermission

2010-08-02T14:35:00.005+01:00

Calfy and her beloved little sister.

Do visit Woman on a Raft.

A Good Read

2010-07-24T14:39:00.003+01:00

I don't know whether this is chick lit but I loved it. Them Tudors eh? What were they like? I feel like I have been hanging out in the 1530's.

Quote of the Day

2010-07-13T11:26:00.003+01:00

"We need to reclaim and re-enact our commitments to community. Default statism turns citizens into consumers and makes government a giant problem solver, which only increases our technical managerialism."

David Miliband on the challenges facing the Labour Party.

Somebody get this man a chauffeur!

2010-07-06T15:23:00.003+01:00

George, The People's Poof, has got to July this year before his annual traffic incident. There must be lots of sober young men out there willing to drive his car, surely? Hell, I'd drive him around myself.

Lilith's Domestic Tips #1

2010-06-24T15:49:00.002+01:00

I haven't been blogging because life is hectic and it is easy to get out of the habit if you don't just sit down and do it!

Anyway, here is something I discovered this year...using a gas kettle instead of an electric one saves us about £15 a month (Yes, we drink a lot of tea.)

And Lilith's planet saving tip No2. is using one of these

You can put everything in them, cooked meat, bread, tea bags and you end up with fab fertiliser/compost, which has made our garden go bonkers this year, and eco friendly drain cleaner. It is a great little gadget especially if you have an Elby to deal with the thing. Our local council collects food waste every week. I am waiting for them to fine me for not putting any out.

Will he turn himself in?

2010-06-03T17:58:00.004+01:00

From today's Times.

H/T Elby

Dennis Hopper

2010-05-29T20:18:00.004+01:00

Easy Rider and Blue Velvet are the films everyone remembers Dennis Hopper for. I probably wouldn't make an effort to see either film again.

True Romance however is a different apple. It is a grisly but highly entertaining film. Scripted by Tarantino, and directed by Tony Scott, Ridley's bro, it is probably the best work Tarantino has done. Hopper only has a small part, but he makes it count.

Along with Christopher Walken, Hopper is superb in this scene. He knows he is going to die, and he doesn't want to give up his son. So he mouths off..... Exquisite.

I have uploaded the 10 minute clip here but there is a 5 minute version if you can't bear the tension build up. Not for the squeamish or politically correct.

RIP Dennis, and thanks for all the entertainment.

I was going to do a post about the Labour leadership

2010-05-18T21:01:00.005+01:00

Gruesome Twosome

But I thought, well, if they want to elect a man who can piss off the Russians, the Sri Lankans, and the Indians single handedly, if they think a man who has done nothing outside of "politics", ever, is the man to lead the Party and, who knows, maybe even the government at some point, then who am I to comment?

Then I thought I would blog Scroblene's azalea instead. I can't get the bloody picture off my mobile device.

Update: here it is. Scrobbers kindly gave us a seedling two years ago and this year it has flowered. I think it is a native but I really don't know. Scroblene, is yours flowering too? Doesn't it smell divine?

In which my fab brother in law gets a name check

2010-05-16T19:41:00.001+01:00

Why is he still in No10?

2010-05-10T12:12:00.002+01:00

Has he not been in the Library with the revolver all weekend now?

I should be on holiday

2010-05-04T12:27:00.004+01:00

Sadly events have conspired to trash all our holidays this year. Calfy was supposed to be going to Uzbekistan, but her travelling companion used a dodgy visa company to get the three visas required, Russian, Kazakh and Uzbek. They failed to get him any in six weeks. Calfy got all hers in four. So she is here, blue.

My mother was supposed to fly to Spain but hers was the only flight cancelled from Bristol the morning after the no fly ban was lifted. So she has to practise her castanets here.

I was due to go to Cornwall with Elby and the dogs, but Poppy has required ear surgery for something nasty that appeared on her earlobe so she is here having a quiet time with me rather galloping through the gorse with Pig.

I have already voted. Calfy's postal vote never arrived so if she had gone on holiday she would have been unable to vote at her first general election so at least she gets the strange experience of the polling station.

"I thought he was an educated man"

2010-04-29T08:39:00.005+01:00

Mrs Duffy, you poor love. You just went and had a spontaneous word as you were passing by. For your trouble you were grossly insulted and had the media crawling all over your drive and the Gorgon in your living room, smiling about how mortified he was. You just wanted to know what he was going to do about the national debt. I don't expect you found out. Did you ever say "Do call me Gillian" to him?

Leaders debate could be fun. I may even watch.

Have any of you tried this? It is the Telegraph's contribution towards helping the floating voter. The shocking thing for me was that I came out 71% BNP when I didn't eliminate them from my voting possibilities.

Psychedelic Bush

2010-04-27T10:03:00.004+01:00

It's that screaming pink azalea time of year again.

Real life has been overwhelming of late and blogging very light. I at last have some time off work and am spending it catering to Calfy's every need. She has another driving test tomorrow this means driving all day clinging to the door handle. As the car is a bit of an agricultural vehicle in appearance and aroma it would probably be quite a good idea to clean it so as not to scare the examiner.

This is quite funny here

And we thought our politicians were "smart"....

2010-04-05T11:44:00.004+01:00

Has this man been hitting the hash cake or is this actually the best he can do?

Hat tip: Beast of Clerkenwell

Gary Elsby of Stoke on Trent

2010-04-03T09:00:00.003+01:00

Gary Elsby, (of Stoke on Trent) who many of us remember fondly for his incomprehensible comments on Guido, was on the radio yesterday. I caught him by accident, objecting to the parachuting in of "Tristram Hunt" (not a real name surely? rhyming slang?) as Labour candidate for Stoke on Trent. Good on you Gary. I would gladly donate to your campaign to run as a local independent.

He is on here at about 15 minutes in.

New Labour's education policies

2010-03-25T11:28:00.003Z

I am so glad I do not have school age children. Surely this is a breach of Section 4?

I thought Calfy's school was bad enough for teaching 13 year olds about the Bulger murder, which left my girl sleepless for a week. I thought they were pretty bad for accusing her of being obsessed with death (she used to read the Craig Brown column next to the obituaries in the Telegraph), but the above takes the biscuit in institutional child abuse.

Be Good Tanyas - Desert Island Discs

2010-03-19T21:32:00.002Z

HT Mr Ishmael.

Thudbump

2010-03-14T08:31:00.002Z

Pig injured himself on something sharp in the woods this week. Big triangular tear and lots of stitches. He thinks he is better now. I am covered in bruises from the lampshade charging past.

Non Domicile Tax Status

2010-03-01T15:25:00.004Z

There is a lot of hysteria about Lord Ashcroft being a "non dom". People seem to think it means he pays no UK tax. I am apparently default non dom as my father is, also by default as he never said to anyone that he will never return to New Zealand. He still might. Being a non dom has never made any difference to my tax bill. I have no assets outside this country and have always paid swingeing amounts of tax relative to my income. It would only be a perk for me if

a) I won the NZ lottery
or
b) I won the UK lottery and migrated for three years in the twenty years before my death...then my beneficiaries would not have to pay inheritance tax on my massive estate. If I popped my clogs tomorrow my estate would not qualify for IHT.

What is causing the upset? Is it that Non Doms with very large incomes outside the UK don't have to pay UK taxes (or only £30,000 p.a.) on these incomes? They pay tax in the country they earned the money in, so why should they get hit by more tax from the UK Government? Do people want to drive this handful of mega rich foreigners out of the country as well as the moderate earners with skills?

My sister has already emigrated, my brother is talking about going, my father retired last month and I earned so little last year that I got a tax rebate instead of a bill in January. Elby is redundant and Calfy can't get work, and that is just one family. The treasury should be grateful for everything it gets.

Bad Science

2010-02-26T09:55:00.005Z

Well, everybody who is anybody is quite down on Homoeopathy these days aren't they? But who can trust a "peer reviewed" medical journal when this kind of shit goes on?

As far as I am concerned, all medicine is "magic" anyway, whether Western "science" based or otherwise. Bodies and minds get better, often to the surprise of all concerned. Sometimes drugs seem to help. Sometimes they seem to make things worse. Sometimes they kill people. Sometimes they have no discernible effect. Drug therapies are terribly variable in their outcomes, and often cause more problems than they mitigate, tolerances are quickly developed and patients are uninformed. It seems their doctors are too. I doubt Dr Scott Reuben is the only one to behave like this. Ben Goldacre has nothing to say on the subject.

Surgery is amazing, obviously insulin is marvellous, but drug therapies are often so crude and dangerous that I find it astonishing that people could freak out about more non invasive treatments that, for many, work without causing so much damage.

After being told that her blood pressure was dangerously high, my mother, who had no symptoms, tried several hypertensive drugs. These ALL gave her nasty side effects, many of which look like symptoms of heart disease/hypertension to me (breathlessness, swollen ankles, headaches, angina) and eventually she asked the Doctor if she could stop experimenting with them. None of them brought her blood pressure down anyway. The Doc was horrified, asked her what her friends were on, and said that the drugs gave Mum a 25% protection against heart attacks and strokes. Mum thought "25%? Is that all?" (Sounds less than placebo to me) and stopped. Her blood pressure IS higher than a 35 year old's, but does she need her quality of life screwed by medication? Would she not be better going out with a bang in her 80's like her mother and grandfather, but living a full and comfortable life until her time is up? It's a scam I tell you! I am off to take an arnica pill.

Update: Elby pointed me to this in which Madeleine Ennis discovers that homoeopathy does have an effect that she can't explain but has replicated.

Teehee

2010-02-25T10:43:00.001Z

Fashion Champion Sarah

2010-02-19T22:05:00.002Z

Hatfield Girl has brought this important story to my attention

According to the Telegraph....

"London Fashion Week, for autumn/winter 2010/2011, was officially opened by the prime minister’s wife, Sarah Brown, who wore a printed dress by Erdem, one of London’s brightest rising stars, accessorised with a belt made from a recycled fire-hose.

Mrs Brown said she was full of admiration and awe for the young designers who were securing British fashion’s future. “I am uplifted by their passion and fearless determination.”

Johnny Depp

Sarah Brown

Hollie Greig

2010-02-16T07:18:00.002Z

Videos from investigating journalist Robert Green here

For more on this hideous story see here and here.

This stopped me sleeping. Why would the journalist investigating Hollie's case, arrested for breach of the peace, be incarcerated for 3 days before getting bail? See here. What can we do?

Poppy

2010-02-14T22:08:00.003Z

Here she is. She is fast. She is soft. She doesn't stand any nonsense from Pig.
They play and play and play....

They are coming to take us away, ha ha

2010-02-10T20:24:00.002Z

I thought I would link to this post as I wonder why this stuff is not national headlines. Huntsman on the EU Masterplan

L is for Labour

2010-02-10T16:02:00.002Z

Tip of hat to Hemulen

New family member

2010-02-09T20:59:00.003Z

It is happy chaos in the Berserk household as Elby and I become the Brad and Angelina of the canine world. Pig is ecstatic because he now has a live-in friend! More soon when I have pics :-) She came yesterday, a sort of surprise; trained, adorable and she and Pig get on like a house on fire.

Blair's "reality"

2010-01-30T12:42:00.001Z

As someone who has got up close and personal to a full blown clinical Narcissist in her time I always shiver when I hear the phrase "The Reality is...". Hearing Bliar say it many times yesterday at the Chilcot Inquiry, I wondered if non-narcissists ever use this expression?

The creep put on a performance of his life. As slippery as a blob of mercury he avoided answering the questions, some of which I would have liked to hear an answer to. The panel didn't hold him to answering the questions. He didn't seem bothered about the death and chaos in Iraq, because now Saddam Hussein is gone and the world is much better and he has done the Iraqis the most enormous favour. Dead babies, displaced families, warring neighbours, no work, electricity or water.

Far from expressing regret, Bliar seems to think that we should be going into Iran for more of the same.

Some babies are just much more precious than others.

Madness everywhere

2010-01-26T08:59:00.002Z

Sometimes I think every day is April 1st when I look at the papers. Today for your special consideration I give you this and if that doesn't disturb your coffee and croissant, how about this for irony. I think I might stay away from the news for a little while just to make sure it is them, not me.

Poster campaigning

2010-01-21T18:27:00.004Z

Here's mine

You can make your own here

Update: Here's Elby's contribution to the campaign

And here's a really disturbing one from Modo. Genius

The Lanky Gene

2010-01-14T14:41:00.004Z

The mother of Elby's children is researching some genealogy on Elby's side. It turns out that Elby's Great Grandmother was the sister of Basil Fawlty's Grandpa. So that explains the silly walk!

Satisfying present

2010-01-09T13:24:00.004Z

We asked people not to give us presents for our wedding but the above slipped through...I think it is an object of desire...a china tetra pak jug.

Proper snow

2010-01-06T12:28:00.004Z

Well it seems to be thank you letter writing day as there is no point in trying to get anywhere. Pig went bonkers when he got into the snow.

Here is a late rose from the front that was still going before Christmas that I didn't get around to posting.

Does anyone know what this plant is?

Does anyone know where Raedwald has gone?

2010-01-04T09:54:00.002Z

Update: He is blocked from Blogger by automated spam detectors and it takes a while to sort out..quite a while.

Happy Day

2010-01-02T17:25:00.002Z

Thank you for all your sweet sentiments. We had a lovely day.

Getting married tomorrow

2009-12-30T17:54:00.002Z

It is all rather quiet

2009-12-21T15:33:00.003Z

on this blog.

My Girl came back happy from Damascus and then had her tonsils out.

Meanwhile I had the busiest week of work for 18 months! Hurrah!

Poor Calfy is in bed, with a very, very sore throat. To make matters slightly more intense Elby and I are getting married in less than a fortnight...(to anyone who thinks they should be invited, you will be, to a party in the summer.) We can't do it all at once because we are disorganised hippies.

Something nobody expected to hear

2009-12-05T12:17:00.001Z

Beast of Clerkenwell gets ready for the weekend

2009-12-03T20:58:00.001Z

He really gets a groove going.

Dubai...is it Michael Owen's fault?

2009-11-27T20:50:00.002Z

How much does THIS video have to do with today's market grief? Not for the faint hearted...how many minutes/seconds can you watch this video for?

Losing my mind

2009-11-16T11:50:00.007Z

It has happened again. Ebay has lured me in and is exploiting my soft head. A lack of blog posts is in part due to spending hours "shopping" on Ebay and then, because I have spent so much money, I had to spend hours working out how to sell stuff back/get photos onto my computer from the Blackberry... Four years ago I bought a lot of china, in about 10 different lots, which I then gave away.... It is a dangerous pastime.

Then there is the Blackberry...I "upgraded" and am still trying to work it out..After 10 days I worked out how to put voicemail on. After two weeks I worked out how to get the ring tones I want, or at least ringtones I can stand. Elby said forlornly to Pig when I came home with over-specified mobile phone "Sigh, it's just you and me now, Pig"...I have worked out that people are not actually addicted to their Blackberry, they are just trying to remember how to get to their photos/messages/contacts...

Update: This guy is a prankster or what. Funny.

Remembrance

2009-11-08T09:42:00.001Z

Fontmell Down October 2009

The house my great grandpa built

2009-11-04T19:45:00.008Z

Scroblene has posted about his father and uncle building the houses he grew up in/next to. It made me think of posting this, which is the house my great grandfather built and my grandfather, and father and a multitude of great aunts and a few uncles all grew up in. They were farmers, mainly hay and sheep. The place is close enough to the sea to have been flooded by a tidal wave once, ruining the land for years. Sadly neither my father nor any of his three brothers took to farming and eventually it was sold after my grandfather and step gran died. I last visited when I was nine, and it had a red roof back then. Otherwise the view is the same. My dad brought us all over to England when I was 4 and now I am more English than the English (except that I still have that terrible colonial habit.. you know the one, a lack of pre-verbal censorship: things that would remain unspoken by any self respecting English woman, pop out ...)

Check out the views here: Esk Valley Lodge

Update: Here is a 9 year old Lilith and her little sister looking at the view from the farm.

Update:

I received this email from the current owners..I would never make an historian:
Lilith

I came across your blog by accident and saw the picture of the house in the Esk Valley. Just to set the record straight, there was no tidal wave that flooded the valley! I think in your childhood you heard your relatives talking about the Anzac day flood of 1938 which did indeed flood the whole valley with sediment meters deep. I also think you are confusing the red roof of the barn with the house. The house roof was green from when it was built in 1947 to when we reroofed in 2004! I attach a picture of the barn that may bring back memories.

I do not have any photos from where you and your sister were looking over the fence but I have attached the closest which isfrom the house balcony. You will recognise the hills in the distance. I attach a picture from the hill behind the house to give you some perspective.

Jes

My first movie (well, not exactly)

2009-10-25T19:26:00.004Z

I love this song, it has been going around my head for days. Then I discovered Windows Movie Maker and this is the result!

The song is Forgiveness by The Lonesome Sisters with Riley Baugus

Irresistable

2009-10-23T19:56:00.001+01:00

Jack Torture is at it again

2009-10-22T09:43:00.002+01:00

Blimey, you have to keep a close eye on these fuckers don't you?

More holiday stuff

2009-10-17T13:33:00.009+01:00

One of the reasons I have very few photos is that I take photos like this

and Calfy takes photos like this

I liked the shopping, it is so different to here, with the dusty sweets:

The smoking semi naked mannequins

and tiny shops

This particular shop was called Johnny Minaret, where Johnny announced "Very small shop, very big welcome, very good price" and let us take a picture.

Old Damascus has a mixture of the very ancient

and the highly sophisticated.

With many lovely things to look at or eat

Archway and lantern

The Umayyad Mosque

Puddiing

One of the oddest things we saw was in the inner most sanctum of the Convent of St Thekla.

There, hanging across a Madonna and Child painting over the reliquary, was a gurt big bling chain with a DVB (David and Victoria Beckham) crown hanging off it. These sacred crowns were available in the gift shop in gold or silver and the Crown itself was about 3"x2"....

For the uninitiated and blissfully ignorant, the DVB crown logo looks like this

By the end of the 10 days my work was done. With Calfy safely married off

I could return home in full peace of mind.

Back from Damascus

2009-10-11T20:06:00.005+01:00

What a wonderful trip it was. Anxious mother converted to reassured mother. Axis of evil unidentifiable. Very friendly place, very few beards.*

The first thing you notice about Syria, arriving in the dark, is that there are pictures of Mr Assad everywhere.

He was even gazing benevolently down upon us as we sat draped in a sheet, drinking sweet tea, in a Hammam.

This is not a picture of the Hammam we went to, and obviously it was women only when we went, but I don't have a pic for you :-)

Syria is a police state, but this has some advantages over our own. For example, the people are forbidden for blethering on about religion, except in context, i.e. in a church or a mosque. This was refreshing. Also, Muslims and Christians and all their different sub sects seemed to get along fine, not simply tolerating each other.

What with the £ being worth two thirds of what it was (there are 70ish SYP to the £)and two million Iraqi refugees, never mind the Palestinians, the cost of accommodation in Damascus is relatively high. Hotels cost what they do here. We stayed in a Hostel (twin room, private shower, breakfast, extraordinarily helpful and friendly staff) for 40 Euros a night so we were in the budget range, but it was very conveniently located, welcoming and fun. They also met us at the airport.

Food is very cheap. We had a blow out meal at the best restaurant in the Old City, three courses and way more than we could eat for £30 on the last night. Generally we were hard pressed to spend a tenner on a restaurant meal and could buy delicious falafel wraps for 30pence and a freshly squeezed juice for 50pence. I thought "Old Holborn would love this..all his family could eat at the best restaurant in town for £15 a head!"

There were not huge quantities of European tourists, and most of those were retired French folk. The souk was used by the locals and not just tourists. Prices varied wildly but Calfy and I were fairly ruthless barterers...I don't mind bartering at all, in fact I have trouble stopping when I get back to the UK.

There were off licences in the Christian Quarter but I only drank on the last night, and then only a single lovely beer...alcohol is not at all practical in that searing heat and I didn't miss it. I also heard that Syrian wine is not up to much. Give me fresh lemon and mint any day. And so they did.

Calfy bought a pirate dvd of Shrek...it was an immaculate rip off offering Arabic, Arabic with English subtitles, English with Arabic Subtitles, English, French, French with Arabic subtitles etc.. and all the extras were on there too. £0.50. A bargain way of learning the language :-) We didn't buy any music as the performers don't get any royalties, but didn't mind Disney.

People were very helpful. Random strangers would help us get onto the right bus, even if it meant getting off the bus themselves and crossing the (alarming) roads with us, and flagging down the appropriate bus. We saw a lot of women in hijabs but it just seemed a very practical option with all the dust about, and combined with skinny jeans, Victoria Beckham style heels and as much makeup as you might see on a transvestite, hardly "modest" or oppressive.

I will see if I can organise a few holiday snapshots to bore you with and write some more soon. In the meantime, do visit Calfy's Blog as she is still out there and has a much better camera.

*
Beards have their (limited) place. They are acceptable if

A) shaving brings the face up in a ghastly rash that takes days to subside e.g. My mate Mark
or

B) if the chin is indistinguishable from the neck e.g. Jerry Garcia
or

C) the shaven chin causes the poor chap to be mistaken for 16 in spite of being 30
e.g. My mate Greg
or

D) the beard wearer just looks weird without one e.g my mate Electro-Kevin
or

E)the wearer is ancient and female

I am not a beard fascist and I am prepared to allow that there may be some other perfectly good reasons for wearing a beard, but being a nonce or a sky pixie enthusiast, or a lazy hippie with an illegal ponytail and a bald patch are NOT examples of them.

Desert Island Dancing #2 in an occasional series

2009-09-28T17:42:00.003+01:00

Farewell for a while whilst I go get meself some culture. In the meantime this is another track that gets me dancing round the kitchen. I am not sad to leave the Labour Conference behind and fully expect Baroness Scotland to have resigned by the time I get back.

Google, the font of all knowledge and truth.....

2009-09-26T20:03:00.003+01:00

Try googling French military victories and press the "I'm feeling lucky" option and THIS is what you get....

Calfy sent me this screen shot too....

Calfy in Rome

2009-09-24T19:07:00.004+01:00

The morning after her acquittal Calfy sped off to Rome for a few days to refresh her spirit. As you do. Which was nice.

Sick

2009-09-23T11:09:00.003+01:00

New Labour have finally made me ill. I think it's an ulcer.

Unscheduled holiday

2009-09-18T07:42:00.004+01:00

Last week I got an email from My Girl that was simply a flight booking confirmation. On closer inspection it appeared she has booked to fly to Damascus where she intends to study Arabic. After I had come out of a spin, I calmed down, talked to her father, and have booked to go with her! Only for 10 days, to satisfy myself that she is settled in her studies and to have a bit of a holiday, but as you can imagine, there is quite a bit to do beforehand. I hope to bring back a suitcase full of rose oil.

Stolen post

2009-09-14T15:19:00.004+01:00

STRAINS IN BLAIR-BOOTH MARRIAGE

FUCK ME, JESUS. WILLYA JUST LOOKATHAT. AND ME A CARDINAL.

(Lifted from Call Me Ishmael, because it made me laugh and laugh)

First Casualty of the Independent Safeguarding Authority

2009-09-12T10:59:00.003+01:00

Dear Elby, who raised four lovely children who are now four lovely adults, three of whom work caring for the severely handicapped, worked hard to give his children a Steiner education. He was very involved, as the school operated on a shoestring and parental involvement was essential to keep the place running. He now has (well deserved but unplanned) time on his hands and was thinking of volunteering at the local Steiner school, with his wealth of experience.

However, he doesn't feel that paying a fee to the ISA is worth doing for the sake of offering the school his skills. A CRB check is one thing. A further ISA check is quite another. How very sad. Schools can't be expected to pay for these checks and why should volunteers have to find the money when they aren't even earning? For him to have these checks, I would need to find the money, something I am reluctant to do because I believe the requirement is pernicious, pointless and will not protect anyone except tax revenues.

What a waste of his skills and good intentions!

Funny comment on Dale shock

2009-09-11T21:50:00.003+01:00

Nightmare. The news that we are all suspected paedos, drunk drivers, smokers, and generally not fit to be around children really depressed me today. I occasionally work with children and many of the adults I work with could be described as "vulnerable" but I have no idea if this new legislation applies to me as every one I work with comes to me voluntarily and we have a private agreement that I try and help them.

Raedwald and Angels in Marble both blogged on this today, and so did Iain Dale and I am too frothingly furious to add anything coherent.

This comment under Dale's post made me laugh.

Duyfken said...

This reminds of a recent anecdote from Australia. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Caption Competition, Christine Keeler edition

2009-09-07T15:07:00.002+01:00

Apologies to RVI

Obsolescence: Gordon Brown to expire in a month.

2009-09-06T21:13:00.003+01:00

A spokesman for Polaroid said "We had to stop production. Only a few cranks and perverts will miss him. The technology is obsolete and nobody wants Gordon Brown anymore. Eventually all remaining polaroid shots of him will fade and turn blue"

Article here

In the interest of balance

2009-09-05T08:33:00.002+01:00

H/T Mr Ishamael Smith

Lilith's Desert Island Dance Tracks #1 in an occasional series

2009-08-31T10:50:00.002+01:00

Dedicated to all you brown eyed handsome men...

At last they invent a sat nav for Elby

2009-08-27T13:43:00.001+01:00

Don't expect your local Bobby to help uphold the law.

2009-08-26T20:28:00.002+01:00

Today I visited an old friend (82) and told her the good news about Calfy. Her cleaner was there, and my friend was so overjoyed on my behalf that she told her my good news about Calfy winning her appeal. This was the response:

I told you about X didn't I?

No?

X was catching a train home with his wife from Bath station late in the evening. Some tourists were smoking on the station. X went up to them and told them it is against the law to smoke on English railway stations. The tourists ignored him. X saw two policemen and went up to them to say that he had informed the tourists that it is illegal to smoke on a railway station. The policemen ignored him. X again went up to the tourists and reiterated that they were breaking the law. The tourists ignored him and continued to smoke. X went back to the police and asked them if they were going to do anything about it. The police then threw X down the station stairs, injuring him significantly, hand cuffed him and took him to the (nearby) police station. They swabbed him for DNA, finger printed and photographed him and kept him overnight. Luckily for X, he was with his wife (a solicitor) and another woman waiting for a train saw everything. His wife was not allowed to see him. Naturally the cctv cameras in the station were "not working" on the night in question. This is Bath police, not the Met. (The Bath police are famous for NEVER EVER SOLVING A MURDER. Even when there is a lot of evidence...we have lost a number of women called Melanie, generally killed by their foreign boyfriends who were allowed to return home immediately.)

The next thing we'll be hearing is that he's been "repatriated" to Israel?

2009-08-24T19:53:00.005+01:00

This caught my eye this evening.

Perhaps the US Authorities will show him compassion.

Hurrah!

2009-08-23T17:59:00.004+01:00

You have me to thank for England winning the Ashes. Elby booked Sky for the computer so he could watch and every time I left the room we got a wicket. Very, very exciting. It meant I only ever saw replays, but it was worth it.

Happy Days

2009-08-21T17:26:00.004+01:00

Anderson, Broad and Cook.

Innocent!

2009-08-20T21:25:00.006+01:00

Calfy, October 1991

Calfy had her appeal today. A judge with respect for the law found her innocent. £15k and 14 months later, you should have seen her lovely face this evening. Radiant and relieved. Unburdened. You tax payers will be thrilled to know you have to pay our costs now, as well as the costs incurred by the CPS. :-)

Nu Labour has failed to undermine the judiciary to the extent it's Police would wish. The Judge was very interested in the law and evidence and proof. (Mind you, he was very old and thin and so his sort may not be a problem for the Police much longer.) He loved that her character witness was her Greek teacher. I love her Greek teacher. I also love her barrister, a gorgeous, minuscule, Irish dame.

Hey, Mr Astra Dealer, have you asked for your money back?

2009-08-14T21:23:00.004+01:00

Or is this a subliminal message about mortality? I dunno, I am on holiday now :-)

Ancient monuments, now you see them, now you don't.

2009-08-10T20:45:00.006+01:00

These fields are near a favourite Pig walk and Elby was looking for alternative routes. He got excited when he noticed what appeared to be an iron age hill fort (it overlooks a valley) and tried in vain to find it.

link to map here.

Then he found this map. Poooof! All gone.

update: Excitement over but mystery not solved. Clearly the ancient monument is not what it seems.

This is the the 2005 picture:

This is the 2001 picture:

Which still begs the question WTF is it? Why was Elizabeth writing about it? I am relieved nothing precious has been destroyed and I am sorry to get everyone excited and outraged needlessly. Elby thinks it is a UFO landing site. It has been an interesting quest.

Madonna, Britney, just go home and look after the kids...

2009-08-02T12:07:00.005+01:00

Why do they bother? Have they never seen a Shakira video?
Poor Elby was rooted to the spot with his jaw hanging when I played him this...

I think the effect she has on Danzig she has on a lot of men. Class.

Chris Galley....can we send him back to the Civil Service now?

2009-07-30T08:52:00.003+01:00

The Sunlight Centre for Open Politics is raising money. I bunged them a few quid. This has apparently bought me the entire list of SCOP donors.

Nice Mr Galley sent round an invitation to drinks next week and left the email addresses visible to all. I guess that is just how they are trained in the Civil Service. He didn't reply when I queried this policy.

How very "open". How very off putting.

Life during wartime Desert Island Discs #0.1

2009-07-29T19:58:00.003+01:00

How mad is David Byrne? How much do Talking Heads rock? Big it up and treat yourselves to the full screen turn it up loud version.

Weddings

2009-07-23T08:44:00.002+01:00

For the first time in my life I have been giving the idea of "marriage" some thought. Obviously it is a patriarchal conspiracy to keep property in the male line but having stumbled across my truelove at 40 I have to say I am a little bit tempted. It is said that Marriage is the first step towards Divorce but sometimes you just want to be with someone forever.

This made me laugh.

The patch of sloping clay behind the house

2009-07-22T13:07:00.007+01:00

Here are some of the things that make me smile outside my back door

Tomatoes

Mini euphorbia and weird foxglove

Self seeded hollyhock

First carrots

Scabius, knautia, allium

Mini potentilla

Lupins

First sweet peas.

The clematis finally took off...

White delphinium, past its best.

Gorgeous dog

Garden ornament

Understanding your gas bill

2009-07-14T22:09:00.003+01:00

The Gas company has kindly sent me this explanatory letter. I have studied it and, in spite of having a Maths O level, running a business, managing credit cards and mortgages and doing a tax return each year (without £2k of accounting advice paid for by the tax payer) I have to say I am none the wiser. I am sure it is really very simple.

Mummy, what's a "roué"?

2009-07-02T17:47:00.003+01:00

As in "old?" I enquire. This is my best illustrated answer. Check out his introduction of Nora at about 1min 50.