Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Understanding your gas bill

The Gas company has kindly sent me this explanatory letter. I have studied it and, in spite of having a Maths O level, running a business, managing credit cards and mortgages and doing a tax return each year (without £2k of accounting advice paid for by the tax payer) I have to say I am none the wiser. I am sure it is really very simple.





16 comments:

Blue Eyes said...

I recognise a good bit of nPower bullshit when I see one! Switch away from nPower they are the spawn of the something horrible.

lilith said...

It is quite extreme, isn't it Blue Eyes? I keep thinking that it must just be me, and normal people could work it out. Then I realise that I am a normal(ish) person....

ajdshootist said...

What makes me mad is i have a gas meter but it is locked and sealed i have no gas my flat is all electric and every quarter they sent me a bill for £0.00 yup nothing it cost them to bill me for nothing waste of paper etc.

Calfy said...

Aha, I was wondering what maths to set in our last week of term.

lilith said...

Ah, Adjshootist, that has to be British Gas....my sympathies.

Calfy, if Little Rose can work that one out she will go far.

idle said...

We don't have gas here, but oil.

"Understanding Your Oil Bill"

1. We fill your tank twice a year.
2. You will think that the Total to Pay is a misprint.
3. It won't be a misprint.

Scrobs... said...

Same here with BT bills Lils.

I now have all my phone connections wired to two flags on the roof, and have taken a course in semaphore...

Broadband is a bit of a bugger though, as all that quick waving causes the ladder to wobble!

Anonymous said...

Deliberate obfuscation I reckon.

How do pensioners manage this sort of thing? I suppose they just (a) pay up if they're prudent types who worked all their lives or (b) pass it to the Social if they're the other sort.

Idle: I like it! Pure class.

lilith said...

Your oil bills have got stupid too, Idle. I have stocked up on IKEA candles to keep warm this winter.

Scrobs, do the neighbours wave back? Perhaps you could try a bicycle to power the broadband?

Anon, how does anyone without a Maths degree manage this sort of thing?

electro-kevin said...

That's it. I'm going over to wind power.

You'll be surprised what a family of four lighting their own farts can cook up.

lilith said...

Kev Darling, there you are! I am not sure about cooking that way, but I am sure the four of you can get some pretty shocking aroma therapy together...

rvi said...

In under developed less privileged countries, like the one where I live, we get the gas on an as-needed basis sold by a man with little tanks in the back of his lorry, who does his round twice a day, stops right at the gate, lifts the canister down, carries it to the stove, unplugs the empty one and replaces it with the new one and all for about a fiver. No contracts, no claptrap, no b/s - just plain old fashioned efficient and pleasant service.

Philipa said...

Well if it wasn't for over-population in this country we could all go back to keeping a pig in the gardin and having a methane converter a la 'The Good Life'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvOuPyceK94

mutleythedog said...

My gas company 'e-on' apparently, keep demanding i read my meter. I have told them to fuck off. Thats what they are paid for.

Blue Eyes said...

Eon have been brilliant to me since I switched. They even managed to read the meter (accurately) when I wasn't in!! Genius! Or perhaps my lodger let them in who knows?

L I have two maths A-levels and a physics degree and I still couldn't work out my nPower bill even when they sent me the thickies re-print. I have great difficulty reading my T-Mobile bill too. However it can be done sensibly:

Vodafone used to send a very old-fashioned-looking piece of paper showing the standing charge and any "charged for" calls. My broadband company send me an email once a month which says "£17.50 as usual, Sir".

viagra online said...

I think the tax are hight every time, that is why we can buy too many things with the same amount of money. The gas bill usually came very hight to because of the taxes.