Monday, 24 November 2008

Ordinary people living ordinary lives

Mr and Mrs Normal.



My poor boy has component failure. The orthopaedic surgeon gets to him on Thursday. As he will need to learn to walk again I won't have much time to blog so if I am not about it is because I am nursing my gorgeous man/having to cook my own tea.

34 comments:

idle said...

The cruel bastard has skinned your dog and is wearing the pelt as a scarf.

Who is the chick on day-release beside him?

Scrobs said...

I hope Elbers wins this time Lils - them joints don't 'arf hurt!

I'm sure you'll be able to cook up a little tagine now and then, all good stuff for the hips so they say...

You guys take care eh?

lilith said...

Yes Idle, that is all that remains of Delilah the Poodle. That is his care assistant with the goofy expression. He's not allowed out very often.

lilith said...

Thank you Scrobs. The plan is to get him as good as new. Elby is very forbearing, both with pain and my cooking.

Tuscan Tony said...

Mr. & Mrs. NiF*, surely?

Well, idle has got there first. We can all however take comfort that wherever Elby may roam, the Pig will never be far from his throat, sorry thoughts.

Best of luck EtB - ask them if you can keep the excised joint in a formaldehyde jar on the mantelpiece - the Tuscan has the Tuscana's wisdom teeth in pride of place above the Aga which brings a glad smile to her face when cooking, as you can no doubt imagine.

*Normal In Frome.

nomad said...

Did you have to complete a HIPS pack beforehand? Just askin'....

Elby the Beserk said...

When in New York, do as Lou Reed does. Shades and a boa all the rage. Take a walk on the wild side :-)

Happily not a hip replacement; indeed, part of the reason for this op is to avoid such, and to avoid arthritis in the hip, which has just started. Quite a job tho'

1. Open up hip
2. Dislocate femur
3. Shave some bone off the top of the femur - it is this which has been pressing on the joint and damaging it
4. Re-surface any parts of the joint itself that are damaged.
5. Shoot me full of morphine.

Something like that anyway.

Only other op I have had was my tonsils and adenoids (all the rage in the 50s), in Alderley Edge Cottage Hospital, aged 5. So nothing really to refer to. Some trepidation, but on the whole sanguine that the problems I have been having with my hip can be fixed.

That done, I'll then be having an op on my left shoulder, for similar reasons.

Essentially - I'm too darn big!

(So no excised joint, pickled on the mantelpiece, TT - not yet, anyway!)

Philipa said...

Sincere best wishes for a speedy recovery, Elby.

My advice for hospital is to ask if they have a halal option - the food was crap but the muslim in the next bed was offered chicken tikka masala and nan bread.

I'll be thinking of you both - warm best wishes xx

(PS: good as new? Hope so, the physio told me I'm going to have to sell the van. And I can't handle the tent we have so maybe we'll all be fitting in a pop-up 2-man!)

Elby the Beserk said...

Hi Pip,

Yeah - am pretty upbeat. The surgeon is Mr. Joints South West, and I've already met him 3 or 4 times, including going through the scans of the hips, with him describing what was going on. Also, the guy who runs the massage course I did a couple of years back had a client with the same problem, and the op fixed it for him or her.

Thanks for the good wishes. Sorry for your troubles; I'm 57, so really pretty spry for my age, but feel fortunate to have a strong constitution. Bog Irish and Cornish tin miners ancestors make you tough :-)

Old Holborn said...

You won't miss Calty's Trial?

lilith said...

Very funny Old Holborn.

electro-kevin said...

Eeew, Elby. That hurt just reading it.

Good luck with all that, me old mucker.

Get well soon.

(You both look a bit more Goth than when I met you. What happened ?)

lilith said...

It was winter in New York, Kev, so we were doing our best given the limits of a hippy's wardrobe...

Elby the Beserk said...

Nothing to beat a good chair-throwing trial, OH. I'll bring my own chair. Should be well fixed by March, I hope, so see you there!

The Beast Of Clerkenwell said...

Best wishes Mr Elby
I cant wait to try a magnet out on you.
The Beast
PS
Fucking hell
You do seem to be a left over from some 1970's "Glam Rock" popular music combo.
Were you in either Slade or The Sweet?

Daisy said...

best wishes for a successful recovery of elby...and one for you as the caretaker...take a little time for yourself lilith...it's so important...if you ever need to just vent...email me...i will do what i can for support...take care...xxLisa

Daisy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trubes said...

Good luck with your 'op' Elby,
will be thinking of you and stirring some of my magic witchy spells to make you well... and enjoy the morphine...marvellous stuff!

Di.xx

lilith said...

Thank you all so much for your kind wishes. I do feel that I should point out that the furry scarf is mine not Elby's...

fuchsia groan said...

Hi Lilith & Elby

Hope all goes well. Have you laid in a good stock of DVDs to watch while you are both stuck indoors?

Trubes said...

P.S Lils:
Just posted a bit of tripe to cheer up a miserable wet sleety day!
Has Elby has his 'op' yet ? If so I hope he's Ok.xx

Di.x

lilith said...

He's through it and fine!

Now we just need to get him doing the vacuuming again and all will be well.

Philipa said...

So glad all is well. Hugs to both of you xx

electro-kevin said...

"Now we just need to get him doing the vacuuming again and all will be well."

You'd think the nurse would have cleared the sawdust up afterwards.

Does pig get to chew on the old bone ???

Best to Elby.

Willcott Chaffey said...

Ol'Chaffey unze put his ewld ippout unze. Were 1953, toime o'Queenz cremation. Ewld Mizzuz C. rezt ersole had ard murr than a serfishunzy o'sweet sherry an gert thart ewld gimlett lewk inner eye.
Wellaz she were a bit on the droy soide like, bean barren, buzz we uzed some Staffer's onnit, and in it went eazy loik. Burr we wen forrit summut ard loik, and ewt pooped Ol'Chaffey's hip, loik a cark fray zider jug.
Ew were argony.
Izzuz were appen ter tall man?

Willcott Chaffey said...

Cardin ter mern AA rewt arlass, just ewtzoide Arsecott there be nern Legover Land! Warrever nex?

Calfy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lilith said...

Wilcott, that will be Lego Land: The Abomination.

I am sorry to hear of your misadventure with the dear wife (RIP). Most unfortunate. No, My Elby's problem is that he is just long boned...extra leverage pressure on the joints so intervention inevitable. He is a star patient however and will be out tomorrow with any luck. The orthopaedic ward is crammed with people who hate Gordon Brown too...they need to fit more in.

lilith said...

Willcott, are you Bert from the Archers? Should I be claiming my £5?

idle said...

"Most unfortunate. No, My Elby's problem is that he is just long boned"

Hmmm.

Did you catch Question Time last night? The panel was asked whether tarts should be legalised, and wee Dougie Alexander opined that, when visiting prosies, men "should think long and hard". Guffaws all round, Rabbi Julia Neuberger didn't know where to look.

fuchsia groan said...

Glad to hear all went well Lilith I liked the comment The orthopaedic ward is crammed with people who hate Gordon Brown

See, lots of us about. Perhaps a t-shirt campaign. A large photo of the Prime Mentalist with the words 'Do You Hate This Man?'
Even more would answer in the affirmative after the disgraceful events of yesterday. Fascist scum.

Scrobs said...

Great news that His Elbness is coming home soundly mended.

When you said on TT's blog that the scaffolding was up at home, I'm afraid I had a vision of the dear chap being winched in to his recuperation bed through an upstairs window...

Bset wishes to you both, time to get much better!

Elby the Beserk said...

Not only that ward, but the post-op observation ward, and the post-anaesthetic observation ward by the theatre. I was there 2 hours as no bed was available; got talking to a senior staff nurse there. Well -spoken, articulate, big family, clearly well-off as they travel the world. Took me back when she said she hopes he is assassinated. Patients, staff, visitors - of course, with the economy visibly collapsing and the police state motoring into town, there was talk of Brown and NL in the air all the time.

No-one had a good word to say about the man. I don't think they realise quite how magnificently they have alienated their employers.

Op a breeze, happily, and as the joint itself was hardly touched, my hip itself feels the relief already. Main damage is to the muscles, so I will be on crutches for up to 6 weeks, tho' I like to think I will be just using a stick after a month. Just must make sure I don't overdo it.

Then when that's sorted, I'll get my left shoulder fixed. Hey ho.

Thanks for all your kind thoughts. Bizarrely, the rather splendid 60 year old woman in the bed next to me in the post-op ward was a girl/friend of my older brother way back. And had spent 20 years cooking on yachts, had sailed England to Oz, etc. Weird huh?

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