Thursday, 28 August 2008

The Bunker responds

I have heard from Jonah Brown's people. They are going to get the Treasury people to respond. Splendid. Still no word from the Tax Credit people.

I also wonder: This is from the Downing Street Direct Communications Unit. Obviously short staffed and underfunded compared to the Indirect Communications Unit.

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Olympic compulsive viewing.

Weight Lifting

This sport is an Olympic gem. The clip is 12 minutes long. All I can say is that I laughed a lot and ended up with tears in my eyes. Splendid, and not a little insane. The guy lifts something like 39 stone. It's not right. You have to see the very end to see why I got tearful.

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Replies to my letter ref Tax Credit debacle

So, having sent my reply to the unfathomable and erroneous Tax Credit Repayment Demand to a number of people (5) I have had the following replies. I have yet to hear from Gordon Brown or the Tax Credit people themselves.

What I want to know is which of the respondents was self- medicating?

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Shit, I just deleted my link list

I am a Keeg. That is Geek spelt backwards. Damn Damn Damn.

I should live in an assisted computing facility

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

Ok, there is NO end to this government's treachery.

Russia invading Georgia, the Olympics, Maddy "spotted" in Belgium, what a fantastic time to announce THIS

Only the Times seems to mention it. Not really big news, eh?

Update: A few hours later, a post from Guido on the subject and The Times has taken this article off the online front page. It is not even on the front page of the "Business" section, to which it apparently belongs! Hush hush...the little people are not meant to know.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

This comment is worthy of its own post

Old Holborn said:

Dear Sir

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three 'nanoseconds' must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement, which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1 - To make an appointment to see me.
2 - To query a missing payment.
3 - To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4 - To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5 - To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6 - To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7 - To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required. A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorised Contact.)
8 - To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through to 8.
9 - To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client