Thursday, 17 April 2008

Jacquie Smith doesn't know the difference between a noun and a verb.

Jacquie Smith announced funding for 300 "Prevent Officers" and talked about Prevent Work on yesterdays Today programme. Surely they are Prevention Officers doing Prevention Work? Is their job to confuse the hell out of the would be terrorists?


Ed said...

Gordon Brown is famous for only promoting people less intelligent than himself. Gordon is a moron, Jacks must be more so.

idle said...

Last piccy I saw of Jaquie Smith in the Torygraph this morning suggested that, if she had ever had any braincells, they have moved south to her midriff and multiplied a thousandfold.

She may not be wearing any clothes, for all I know - she looked to me as though that trouser suit was painted on, for all the cover it affords of the ripples, crevices and bulges.

lilith said...

Yes, Idle, I think she would be far more comfortable in two sizes bigger..she can't have good friends otherwise they would have told her this, or at least told her about body control underwear...

lilith said...

Good point Blue. On the bright side he has been utterly humiliated by his reception in America.

Anonymous said...

Er.. is it me or what? But, straining a memory from half a century ago, I could have sworn "prevention" was an adjective when used in this manner.... none of which detracts of course from the point that Jacquie may indeed not know the difference between..etc

lilith said...

No, GG it isn't just you. I had a ghastly moment of doubt myself as I was driving home earlier, and wondered the very same thing. But I believe Prevention in this case is a noun. Its a thing. Like Security. Or Information...

lilith said...

They had stopped teaching English grammar by the time I got to secondary what I know I picked up before that and from a bit of language study. And my education was expensive. I was, however, in the "B" stream....:-)

Sen. C.R.O'Blene said...

She's such a wet drip that one; how can anyone look at her trying to be a serious worker in such an important position; and say that we have the best person for the job?

As usual, Nulabyrinthe are just piddling about the outsides, without doing any work to solve the issues. They can't for two reasons, one; they haven't any dosh to use for the purpose, and two; they haven't anyone of statesman-like attitude and skills who'll deal with the crisis head on.

They're a bit like the average Local Authority, long on talking new words, short on actions.

Philipa said...

Along with most school leavers today she probably doesn't know what a noun and a verb is...

Then again she did read PPE at Oxford and her parents were teachers - gym teachers?

Wrinkled Weasel said...

A noun is thing, a verb is a doing word.

At your service, Miss Lilith.

Anonymous said...

Sorry Lilith, but I think I still disagree.

Prevention is undoubtedly an abstract noun when used in eg "Prevention is better than Cure", or "Prevention is the best course" etc, but in "Prevention Officer", the word modifies the officer, same as Customs Officer, Police Officer, big officer, small officer, green officer, fat officer etc. Without the modification from the adjective any officer (noun) is just any officer.

Where are all the teachers when you need one?

hatfield girl said...

All education is expensive. It's around £6000 a year for every state pupil isn't it (thought what is a pound worth, these days, and what is being counted I wonder?)
Anyway, so L, your parents paid for the place you never took up in the state system, and then paid for the place that you did elsewhere, so that you might learn enthusiasm for knowledge, the skills to gain it, and make friends with friendly people (as well as what the Italians call nozionismo - those superficial factual and structural elements of learning such as grammar, punctuation, facts, and a reasonable road map of the state of current understanding of the world).

Well done the parents! But it would be nice if people could be given vouchers for their schooling to spend as and how they choose rather than mulcted to support state indoctrination in mental vulgarity.

(And physical gracelessness; I was quite struck by the contortiness of pupils leaving the smaller HG's comp. when collecting her for rapid transfer to Italian school, which runs in the late afternoon where there are concentrations of Italian emigrants. The Poles have state Polish schools too, run on the same principles of keeping emigrants' children up to mother country standards for when they return.)

Philipa said...

"The Poles have state Polish schools too, run on the same principles of keeping emigrants' children up to mother country standards for when they return"

what.. here? Poles have State funding to teach Poles how to be Polish? When they could just bog off back to Poland and soak it up for free? Socialism confuses me sometimes.

lilith said...

Thank you Captain Nice, I think I have that down...but GG is right on my doubts with this one. I am hoping that, as HG has not mentioned it, that I am correct in this.

lilith said...

Elby just had to complain to the Council who are looking for "Reablement Officers".....

lilith said...

Pip, the fact that the State provides specialist ecucation for the children of immigrants would not gall you if the general education system was in the least adequate.

HG. I would probably have turned out like Karen Matthews otherwise. Is my grammar ok? Pretty please? Me and GG needs to knows, yeah?

Philipa said...

Quite so, Lil, but also if our own culture hadn't been so completely strangled and withered by the state.

Trubes said...

Hello Lilith:
A Noun is a word that can be the name of a person, animal, place,thing, event or idea.

A noun is not only a word which names something that is tangible(i.e., that you can touch), such as table ,dog and White House, it can also be the name of things that are abstract(i.e., that you cannot touch) such as justice, jealousy, and honour.

A verb is a word that indicates
the action of the sentence.

The word "action" is used in it's broadest sense, not necessarily physical action.
A physical run, to hit, to talk, to walk.

A mental hope, to believe in, to imagine, to dream, to think.

A be, to feel, to have, to seem.

Many verbs, however, do not fall neatly into one of the above three categories.
They are verbs nevertheless because they represent the"action" of the sentence.

E.g. The book costs £5.00. (to cost).
The students seem tired, (to seem).

The subject of a sentence is the word doing the action of the verb and the object is the word receiving the action of the verb.

The three friends entered the Restaurant, selected a table, hung up their coats and sat down.
( entered, selected, hung, sat).

Hope this helps Lilith.

Madame Trubes pense Mme Smith doth 'Sauter du coq à làne'.
A French Idiom, meaning;
to jump from one subject to another.
(To jump from rooster to donkey).

Difficult to believe that she was educated at Oxford, isn't it ?

Sorry about the protracted passage , hope it helps!

Phew, I'm worn out now.


lilith said...

That is fantastic Trubes. I have read it twice now and still wonder if Prevention as in Prevention Officer is an abstract noun or an adjective. I wonder if it modifies the Officer or if it describes the thing the Officer relates to.

hatfield girl said...

The state schooling on offer in the UK to immigrants, certainly Italians and Poles, and I'm pretty sure Greeks, perhaps others, is because the originating countries have a duty to offer an education to their citizens and if they are in England then that is where it's offered. And very good it is too. The children aren't being taught to be Italians or Poles though inter alia that happens because neither Italy nor Poland have cultural uncertainty. The children cover an abbreviated, core national curriculum in language, literature, history, geography, history of art (dunno about Poland for that), mathematics, and take the yearly examinations for going up to the next year group. Otherwise, when their parents go back, the children would have to be in the year group they were in when they left the country. There is a conflict with the education offered in primary and early secondary school in the UK because the teaching is unashamedly contentful rather than concerned with the aims of UK education. But why would anyone object to the small HGs learning the history of Italy from the earliest times, or declamation, or rhetorical device, or number bonds by rote or else, or the main Alpine passes and their geohistorical importance? Their irate primary school never would accept that they LIKED it. And when they went back they were in their own year groups. Or learning formal grammar, on which I shall consult them - but I suspect prevent is an abbreviation and unless we can determine the imputed ending, what prevent is, is not resolvable.

I didn't mean to go on and on Phillipa, but the schools for the children of emigrants are very fine, and their teachers and the parents (and shamefully, the children) are often attacked for being there.

Philipa said...

The subject of a sentence is the word doing the action of the verb and the object is the word receiving the action of the verb.

The three friends entered the Restaurant, selected a table, hung up their coats and sat down.
( entered, selected, hung, sat).

Great stuff Trubes so where are we with the restraunt scenario - subject/object-wise?

And.. we've got adverbs: 'Most adverbs in English are formed by adding -ly to an Adjective. An adverb is a word that modifies the meaning of a Verb; an Adjective; another adverb; a Noun or Noun Phrase; Determiner; a Numeral; a Pronoun; or a Prepositional Phrase and can sometimes be used as a Complement of a Preposition.' And there's pronouns: 'A pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. Pronouns can be in one of three cases: Subject, Object, or Possessive ... Object pronouns are me, you, him, her, it, us, and them, eg. Are you talking to me?' And in addition to pronouns there's; anaphoric pronoun - a pronoun that refers to an antecedent; demonstrative pronoun - a pronoun that points out an intended referent; personal pronoun - a pronoun expressing a distinction of person; reciprocal pronoun - a pronoun or pronominal phrase (as `each other') that expresses a mutual action or relationship between the individuals indicated in the plural subject: "The sentence `They cared for each other' contains a reciprocal pronoun"
relative pronoun - a pronoun (as `that' or `which' or `who') that introduces a relative clause referring to some antecedent... and that's just pronouns! We haven't mentioned collective, substantive, generic, proper and common nouns. And what about declension and class? Well lilith has that in buckets.

And then we have modifiers and qualifiers - 'A word or phrase that qualifies, limits, or modifies the meaning of another word or phrase' maybe like.. prevention officer, Trubes??

Noun, onoma - it's all greek to me!

Philipa said...

HG - no, no, don't apologise (although it was nice, thankyou) but Lil is quite correct (and seems to know me quite well) - I don't object to the school you describe, I just wish English children had it too. I mean, you know, being as it's here..

I've seen local government officers abroad on 'official fact finding business' with their wives and kids and here we have... oh it's just too annoying and frustrating to contemplate. In the nativity play at our CofE primary school we saw our children disco dancing on the way to bethlehem to Madonna's 'Like a Virgin'. On the way to Bethlehem via Australia to see the All Blacks play Rugby.

I too am sorry to go on HG but.. well, I sent my children to a faith school for a reason.

Philipa said...

And their yr 3 science homework this week is to draw a picture illustrating how magnetism can help us with our recycling.


Sorry Lilith, sometimes.. you just can't make it up.

Trubes said...

I'm just a, Simple, English Language, person!
Now then, Where
do you put your apostrophe, when the verb has not been conjuacated ?

Philipa said...

Trubes - I no longer have anything to do with conjugating verbs and tell them where they can stick their apostrophes!

Daisy said...

maybe that is the new approach...we will just mess them up with bad english and they will go home...lmao...sounds like an american idea...someone from the democratic party currently running for

Trubes said...

Oops ...Typo!
Should have read conjugated... Too much Friday night Vino!

Pippy.. I think the French love their conjugations... It's taken me a while too understand their hypothesis. I prefer a more direct form of speech.

The 'Prevent Officers', I feel, should be titled Prevention Officers, as you suggested.

However, what are they preventing?No definite article there!

This is totally indicative of NuLab 'easy speak'.

Most of them are either, too darned lazy or too ignorant, to be able to string an intelligible sentence together.

Thus the down-grading of our once 'world class' Educational System.

Sad, I feel.. but true!

In the broader sense, 'Socialism'
just doesn't work...

If it did, the World would be Eutopia...and we would all be skipping 'gaily' ,hand in hand, across verdant pastures.

Gaily....another much maligned word.

I think I've said, over to you Lilith.

Have a lovely weekend Everyone.


Electro-Kevin said...

It really annoys me to hear people deliberately using the word 'brought' instead of 'bought'.

"We brought this car five years ago." WTF ?

The other one is football pundits and the use of the word 'pace'. "He ran with the ball with pace." So what does that mean ? The word 'pace' means little on its own.

Anonymous said...

Kev: Yup, indeed.

My particular bates are the constant misuse of alternate and alternative; and partake and participate. Both seems to be usually used by clever clogs who are trying to be clever...but..

Trubes said...

I hate it when people say:

'I would of' instead of I would have.
'I seen' instead of I saw.
'I come in' instead of I came in.
'We was' instead of we were.

Crikey, the list is endless.

Just look what you've started Lil.

lilith said...

My pet hate is insightful. Always sounds like inciteful to me.

Some regional variations are charming though...round here people ask "Where's that to?" when they want to know where something is located. They also put an l on the end of some words...area becomes areal, and idea becomes ideal....

Kev there is, I am told by Elby, something called the Footballers' Tense. This could explain a lot.

Brought and bought. Yes. I can remember the difference being taught to me, aged about 7.

Wilcot Chaffey said...

Lilith, the Devil is to be found in all things. Even the way we speak to each other.
Shoo out that old goat!

Wilcot Chaffey said...

Don't you think that Hugo Chávez is a dead spit for King Sihon of Heshbon?

lilith said...

Now you are just being daft, Haus Frau. Reading too much into things. You need to get out more.

idle said...

I particularly like the devonian "where'm be?" for 'where are they'
and "e'em the master" for 'that is a big one'

Wilcot Chaffey said...

Lilith, I shall be at the Baptist Church for eight hours today, on my knees in front of Pastor John.

lilith said...

Yes, Idle, hard to resist adopting such phrases.

Haus Frau. What do you say about that Sect, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? Is Satan hanging out with them in Yearning for Zion?

Wilcot Chaffey said...

"Naberius [Naberus], alias Warren Steed Jeffs, is a valiant marquesse, shewing himselfe in the forme of a crowe, when he speaketh with a hoarse voice: he maketh a man amiable and cunning in all arts, and speciallie in rhetorike, he procureth the losse of prelacies and dignities: nineteene legions heare (and obeie) him."

Daisy said...

Okay the one i hate the most is when i am in a meeting and someone says "pacific" instead of "specific"...i had someone ask me if i could be more pacific in a meeting and i told them i was as liquid as i could was not received well as many professionals use this ignorant use of the english language...and i don't know why!

lilith said...

I'm right with you there, Haus Frau.

Daisy...yes...that's a particular irritant. Love your response to being asked to be more "pacific"..

Philipa said...

I hate 'actually' and often use it as a joke, actually! You see I wonder about the use of the actual word 'actual'.... as opposed to the virtual? The word 'actually in my head always has a Birmingham accent. Not Birmingham Al, Daisy.

One of my most annoying habits (to me) is the continual use of 'you know?' when trying to explain something. I had so much difficulty remembering words that now I can remember more I still check to make sure I'm using the right ones to explain my meaning, you know?? As people don't ask you to explain, they just make an excuse and wander away thinking you're barmy.

It's easier to just declare I'll try not to talk to anyone and go and live in a field somewhere.

fuchsia groan said...

Re Jacquie Smith - is'nt she a lass who likes a kebab or two?
I haven't stopped alughing since I read the John Prescott/bulimia revelation.

Daisy said...

philipa if you were referring to someone from alabama saying the word would have to say it axually and have a little spittle dripping out of the side or front of your know?

my son was talking to me a few weeks ago and was telling me what happened to him and his gf and why they broke up...he said..."we went home and blah blah blah"...i stopped him and said i didn't know what blah blah blah meant...he said it's like yada yada i did what any good mother would do...i smacked the smart ass right in the forhead to make his marbles roll around a was just a tap really and him being 24 years old, 6'2" tall i thought he could handle it...his response don't know what yada yada yada means do you...arghhhhhhh

drevetailimin said...

As long as Mrs Smith still knows the difference between an Anal Intruder and an electric toothbrush we can all sleep soundly in our beds.

lilith said...

Daisy. LMFAO! Splendid! Doncha luvem :-)

lilith said...

Beast, Jacquie misunderstood when her friend told her that she needed a "Control Body" to be safe on a walkabout....

Tuscan Tony said...

The Tuscan reserves his ire for those who write "underway"; as in "the project is underway"

*brow tenses*

Philipa said...

Daisy - I can see I'm never going to live 'you know?' down.. ya know?

Assalam-o-alaikum, as they say in Detroit?

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Totally agree with you!

Anonymous said...

50 comments by commenters commenting on comments!

Clearly there are far too many of us who need to get out more!

Trubes said...

Yaaay....51 comments and growing Lilith.
G.G.Nobody in their right mind went out yesterday, the weather was dire.
We stayed indoors, devoured a lovey roast dinner and 'chilled'.

No then, where are verbs and nouns etc, in that statement?

Lilith: When you have time, pop over to Welshcakes Limocelli, (if yyou hav'nt done so already).
She's a lovely lady and writes some wonderful stuff about her life in Sicily.

Hope you are all well and happy.

Di. xx

Anonymous said...

Trubes: Is that my Starter For 10?

If so, the answer is:(verbs)went, was, stayed, devoured and chilled.

(nouns, pronouns, proper nouns):
GG, nobody, mind, weather, dinner.

I have ignored your comment to Lilith in that and agree that on a cold, wet, windy day there is nothing more romantic that a "lovey, roast dinner".

Keep well.

lilith said...

TT, you should start a business called Underway Enterprises..

Axally, I hates that y'know Pip?

Fuchsia, I know, I laughed a very hollow laugh...all that taxpayers money down the toilet...It doesn't seem like bulimia to me, more like gluttony. Stanislav reckons it is a symptom of diabetes...

lilith said...

That's nice Welshcakes :-)

Yes, GG, enough on grammar and more on grandma!

Philipa said...

Yes please, enough with the grammar as I'm useless at it as I'm sure you've all noticed.

f.groan - years ago they would have called what Prescott was doing sheer greed. Most unlike him.

Trubes said...

Ha ha! I've just realised my 'typo' error 'lovey dinner'. Read of that what you will, I blame the medication you know !
Anyway, it was lovely too.
I have the appetite of a horse since taking the steroids,I shall probably look like one too, if I don't stop eating.
Good news is, the condition is drastically improved and the medication is being decreased slowly.


Di. xx

Electro-Kevin said...

I can't stand AQI (Australian Question Intonation) when used by English people. I don't mind it so much by Australians.

I love the South Devonian "Oi'll be comin' ta soyeur doiractly."

(I'll be coming to see you directly)

Anonymous said...

Noun is not necessarily a thing Mr Captain Nice but rather a naming word which can name, for instance, abstracts, which is not things, innit, but abstracts, not really there, like things are. That's the thing about things, there they are, only abstract things means they are things which aren't there. Like anger, for instance, is not a thing but an abstract thing, yet needs naming all the same,just like things which is really things, whereas angering is a doing thing and therefore is verb. Is also proper nouns which has big letter and refer to proper thing, like bloke's name or town and pronoun which is altogether different word to the noun for which it is standing in place. Of. These words is things like I and you, only not nouns or proper nouns with big fuck-off letter, but little, shrivelled-up words, us, them. Is fucking simple, really. Learn it all off teacher at Inverness Poly.

However, all is not so as simple as that. You fucking bastard, for instance, famous English greeting to friend or neighbour, is not pronoun plus verb present participle plus noun, no, is pronoun plus adjective plus noun; in this case fucking is not really doing thing but describing thing, albeit that the thing it is describing is a doing thing it is not meant to convey that the bastard in question is actually fucking but is, rather, a disagreeable bastard.

Hopefully, however, is fucking adverb, not fucking bverbal punctuation mark. But best not start stanislav about hopefully. Be here all fucking night.

Anonymous said...

...all of which proves to my satisfaction (see Stan's para 2 line 5) that "Prevention" is indeed an adjective.

And now I shall go out and get a life...!

lilith said...

Glad you are starting to feel better Trubes:-)

Yes, E-K, why do people do that?

'tanislav, what would I do without your *insightful* instruction? Hopefully I would 'urvive...

Ok GG. You win.

Anonymous said...

And another thing, although not grammar, nor Schmidt-bashing. Drop by at Lady Jane the other day and is big sign saying Have fucked off, write your own fucking blogs, sick of this shit, ps I love you all, apart from stanislav, lazy Polish bastard. Is like Lisa fucking Minelli round here. I quit, No, I quit first. First Dennis the Cripple disappear up own subordinate clause and now Lady jane get the hump. Two of favouritests, just blink out like fucking energy-saving lightbulb off useless prick Rosemary Benn. Be Chase Me Ladies I'm In The Cavalry, next one to leave.

Thought LJ got severe drug problem caught off encounter with Hispanic riff-raff in Miami but is not drugs. Maybe LJ catch something off dogbloke, can be dirty bastard, full of fucking flea and tic and they shit blindness germs all over the shop, piss up furniture legs, can catch all sorts off dogbloke, including if is like stanislav dog, acute fucking poverty. Have three dogblokes one time, all at once, need huge vehicle to transport around and multiple insurance policy with thieving Direct Line bastard; first one pass away at age ninety-five, few years later another bloke go across the seas of night to the bright shores of morning; one bloke left now, keeps pretending to be dying, little bastard get treated like fucking royalty. Worst bloke who ever did any dogging for me. Looks at me sometimes and says Oi! this is dogfood you've given me here, shop run out of chickens? Anyway if LJ get torment and filth off dogbloke like stanislav has maybe suffer caninus mentalis collapsium and go for big lie-down and put bogbloke in kennel with cruel, indifferent strangers.

Whichever, better have dog put down and come back in blog; cyberspace over heavy with men. World need more of bint sensiblity, innit, otherwise place go from bad in fucking worse. Apart from Jacqui Schmidt, of course, who is utter bastard, belong at bottom of mineshaft, never mind in bold company of lady bloggers.

love from stanislav

Anonymous said...

ps, is ladies, right?? LJ and Lilith Not like Holly came from Miami Fla, hitchhike her way across the USA, pluck eyebrows on the way shave legs and then he is a she. Not come in here for walk on the wild side with tranny and ladyboy. Fuck that ladyman shit. Is from Poland, not fucking Scotland.

lilith said...

You are right Stan, it is no good bloggers buggering off like that especially not amusing and lush ones like our LJ.

I am definately a woman ;-)

lilith said...


lilith said...

I miss Dennis a LOT.

45govt said...

Difficult to tell what is a woman and what ain't these days, not just the repulsive Schmidt offering, but Harbint Ruthman kelly, and most of the Nu-Liebour hermaphrodites - thank god for Lilith and LJ, definitely women.