Sunday, 23 March 2008


***Guest Post***
I'm Lilith's daughter*
and mama requested that I do her a guest blog.

Unfortunately, dear reader and comradely webfodder, informed, intelligent and interesting as I am I cannot imagine any of my unrequested girlish opinions would be remotely appreciated by you.

If You wish to prove me right then get away now, if You have any questions pour moi then comment with them. (Anyhow you have a responsibility to comment as you have read thus far.)

Ask Lil' Lil

I can ♥ tell you all her secrets. Or ♥ diatribe on the state of the education system. Or ♥ babysit (£4.50-£7 an hour [plus transport fees], depending on no. of offspring and extent of duties). I lodge in London far from mutti's watchful eye (and the genitor's) and do teenager-y things, and I read alot, and I sometimes go to college to study classical Greek, Hitler and Gothic Lit., and discourse on the same things everyone does. I like films, particularly horror films and 40s rom coms. My favourite directors are probably Cronenberg, Hitchcock, the Coen brothers, Powell and Pressberger, Zefferelli and possibly Tarantino. Discuss?

It's holidays and I've lost my wallet so am stuck at home....hence will answer any question, whatever topic. I'd like to keep it 17/F/UK related though. Not that I will get any questions.

Hang loose buddies eksoheks

* I prefer to think that my birth mother was in fact a seperate schizophrenic facet to the diamond that Lilith sparkles from, as being daughter of a high priestess of the goddess who blogs pictures of tattooed genitalia infers...responsibilities...:S


Tuscan Tony said...

Amazingly, despite being 42 and 1/2I understood at least some of that (except possibly the 17/F/UK bit).

As for questions; what do you think of Pig, then?

lilith said...

I am afraid she is still in bed TT, as is usual before 3pm. I think that 17/F/UK means Seventeen,Female,United Kingdom but I could be way out here.

idle said...

I was completely foxed by the teenspeak until up popped Powell & Pressburger, so all's well.

Sorry about saying you looked like Alan Shearer. A lot of babies do, unless they are the Winston Churchill type.

Calfy said...

What a response! Mullah is correct re. 17/F/UK. TT, I think Pig is great though he does terrorize my own darling girls- a springer and a miniature poodle- a little too much when visiting the inheritance. Also my fondness is inversely proportional to the earliness of the day he vaults the stair gate and jumps on to my bed.
Idle, I am not offended. In fact fifteen years after that photo was taken I was told I looked like Meatloaf so it is pretty much complimentary! :-)

Anonymous said...

As a 35/M/UK i understood only a few % more than TT did, but I am loving the idea of education consisting of Greek, Gothic lit and Hitler.

Meatloaf's not a bad looking lad since he lost a few stone (tons?) but I can see that for a 15 year old girl it might not be most welcome comparison.

Anonymous said...

She sent me a piccy of you naked in exchange for a blog award...sorry I am a sneak and a grass I know...

lilith said...

Mutley I did not send you a picture of my daughter naked. I sent you a picture of my mother naked.

lilith said...

Ha ha Fleet, no she doesn't look like Meatloaf either!! She claims to be writing an essay that was due in in September and without which she cannot gain an A level, but I think she is on MSM and just changes the screen when I walk in the room....

killemallletgodsortemout said...

What-ho, Lilithette!!

I understood all of it, not bad for a 55/M/Uk, eh?

Greek, Gothic Lit and Hitler? Great stuff. Meatloaf? I thought you were a Spice Girls fan.

May I ask which profession you hope to get into after you gain your qualifications?

Electro-Kevin said...

Greek, Hitler and Gothic lit. What an interesting combination.

Tarantino is a fabulous director - what do you make of Scorsese ?


drevetailimin said...

I am 44/fu/ked/up
And Millard, if you really are 42 I suggest that you lobby your MP to vote for Frankenstein Browns stem cell research bill.
Its your only hope of making it past this summer.

Tuscan Tony said...

Straight up (which I am told are the mmots justes as we fortysomethings say, my old dad did some work with Meatloaf; when ML's manager arrived at old dad's recording studio in London old dad said "his stage name's Meatloaf, I know, but what should I call him?". Manager - "errrr - Meatloaf, of course". Old dad refused, and being the sort of chap to enjoy extracting the urine, spent the rest of the 2 weeks calling for "Mr Loaf" whenever the stout fellow was required.

drevetailimin said...

Mr Idle
The last time you were "up on teen speak" Mr Cliff Richard was a virile heterosexual about to go on a grand tour of Europe whilst driving a double decker bus with Una Stubbs.

drevetailimin said...

Mr Mutley
We all Know that times are hard for you, however, must you really degrade yourself further by making sexual advances towards a young gentlewoman youthful enough to be your daughter?
Shame on you Sir!

Calfy said...

Gothic Lit. study can be less exciting than it sounds. It is TOO exciting...apparently all about sex, and given very Freudian readings. Everything is phallic from Dracula's eyebrows to a pile of books and I feel obliged to write "signifies impotence" on every other page just because the alliteration isn't on the plosive. Also I and my mother also seem to be the only two women (or possibly people, seeing how homoerotic every gothic character has been found to be...though I do not presume Hyde and Holmes to be gay) since 1847 not to have a crush on Heathcliff. I don't think Poe is worthy of study either. Frankenstein is more copeable though all the female characters die.
I am not going to write what my career plans are as Mother will read this. She did tell me once that my two career options were glamour model or Prime Minister though so really it is her fault. I really just want to go and live on a small Hebridean island with a yurt and two goats.
Mutley, what is "sneak"? What is "grass" please?
Scorcese..of course Gangs of New York is brilliant, being an 18 and forbidden to me I er...couldn't comment, though I HEAR it is EXCELLENT and I am sure I WOULD like it very much. And I am trying very hard to watch Goodfellas! That is probably an 18 too. I shall wait until July Mamma. :-)
My mother models herself on Una Idle cannot be THAT old.

Calfy said...

Beast, you don't have the high ground to put fie on Mutley. Your comments are horrid!

Philipa said...

Lilithette - greetings and salutations. I too really just want to go and live on a small Hebridean island with a yurt and two goats, only they prefer to be called children. If only I could tidy up this .... house I could procure a yurt, if that's still allowed and not an arrestable offence. Your studies sound interesting and fun - I did have a crush on Heathcliffe when I was 14/F/UK; I have always been attracted to brooding overly-dramatic assholes.

Saw 'Atonement' recently, good film but seeing the extras on the DVD makes it better - the point of the power of stories and that it's all just one persons POV doesn't come through powerfully enough in the film. Also enjoyed Beowolf, not the animation that's just come out, the older one a couple of years old.

Agree that Holmes probably wasn't homosexual but there is still some ambiguity. Am ever amused by the idea that our yesterdays were some kind of sexless utopia. I wonder if it was incidental that Alfred Wallace and Conan Doyle etc. 'embraced' spiritualism along with many women?

I too have an essay to do, on Pygmalion and Don Juan - yeah like that's gonna happen this week :-/ Hope you get yours done on time and done brilliantly :-)

Calfy said...

Hehe, thanks Pip :) Good luck! Doesn't sound so bad. I'm studying Atonement and have to do a paper on it - just that book- so I'm evading the movie as if it is good I will write about the movie not the book and if it is bad it will put me off. I like the use of the song "Dear Lord and Father of Mankind" at Dunkirk though. Youtube FTW.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

I would ask you to call me, but you have probably run out of credit.

I need someone to feed the pirahnas. Sorry, that should read feed TO the pirahnas.

Dron despises students, possibly more than he despises cyclists. Why do their rooms smell funny? Why is that? Dron once had children, but now they are old enough to know how embarrassing it is to be young and desperate and poor.

But, young thing.

Be you of Grendel's mother or Caliban's father, may you rise above it. Resurgam. Always, Resurgam.


Anonymous said...

Beast - come out from behind the sofa. get your helmet on and get your blog restarted.

Philipa said...

Atonement- the thing that struck me about this was that the narrative at the beginning seems as if it is telling a truthful story,but we see that it is just the childs perspective and that perspective is governed by her emotions and agenda. The older sister comments that the younger sister, the storyteller, is rather fanciful and not to be believed. I thought that the most important comment as later we find (but I've not read the book) that events are again told by the younger sister from letters and other sources, but still the child puts her own spin on them, even into old age. So the whole thing is the younger sisters POV. And that point of view destroyed a mans life. Ultimately it is still her fantasy. And the whole piece, for me, illustrated the power of stories, and the power of prejudice. There is no atonement, it's a fantasy, a story - the people are dead.

Now I must read the book!

lilith said...

That's fine advice Dron. And you are spot on about the credit (that is if the phone is not left on bus)

lilith said...

I'm with you there Granddad. Beast, let's see that helmet shine :-)

lilith said...

I heard Atonement described as "rather simpering" which made me giggle. What is point? (as the caller on Down the Line repeatedly asks)

Read three of his books. Decided they were horrid books about horrid people. But he did live in North Oxford for a long time.

Philipa said...

What is point? James Mcavoy.

In the library.

with a ...

Electro-Kevin said...

No one asked what I meant by 43/C/UK

Perhaps you all worked it out already. I shan't explain as I forgot we had a sub 18/F/UK present.

Anonymous said...

EK: Yes, we did wonder about that. Discussion in the household resulted in: Kev is a cuddly, cute, cackling, crazy, cardy-wearing, cardboard cutout camper. Were we close?

Barnsley Bill said...

Lord help me. I am so old!
I understood NOT ONE SENTENCE of that post.

lilith said...

I won't fight you for James Macavoy Pip ;-)

lilith said...

We know you well enough to know what the C stands for Kev! x

lilith said...

Cardy Wearing!

lilith said...

Don't worry Bill, I don't think we are meant to understand.

Wilcot Chaffey said...

Everybody ought to know,
Everybody ought to know,
Everybody ought to know
Who JESUS is,

He’s the Lily of the valley
He’s the bright and morning star
He’s the Fairest of ten-thousand
Everybody ought to know.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

EK's C?


Sen. C.R.O'Blene said...'ve got St.Rs in your eyes; a handle on the Lilith Publication eh?

Just say what you think; add your own bits, forget what you were going to say in the first place, write it up...and there you have it...

Lil.Lil's bits!

Much better reading here than the thoughts of Chairmen Scrob, Idiot to the Gentry...;0)

Anonymous said...

Lilith (08.13); If he didn't wear his cardy, he would be cold-hearted?

The Old Tarf said...


Teen Speak-not to much different than the 60's and 70's Lingo.

Heavy, Far Out, Groovy man, How's your Head. What's happening. Cool.

I guess each generation has it's own way of communicating with each other. Trying to confuse the Older although not always the Wiser preceding one.

Each Group as it gets older looks back on what has gone before and considers they were the cool ones. Until your kid's remind you just how lame you really were.

Trubes said...

Hello little Lil.
Fancy your Mama letting you loose on her blog. I wouldn`t let my three daughters looose on my site as they are mischievious enough to reveal many of my lurid secrets.
I do hope you do well with your studies and are successful in your chosen career. Are you still going to travel out to the middle East, Lebanon, I think your Mama mentioned it, in one of her posts.
Good luck anyway in whatever you do.

lilith said...

Thank you all for your comments on Lil'Lil's guest post. Alas she has flown the nest once more and is again let loose on the world without her mother's careful guidance and watchful eye. Sniff.

drevetailimin said...

High time Mr Beserk , nipped around to the home of the "youth" who is surely behind this rebellion.
God send me sons not daughters.