Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Subsistance Living

Ok, fiscal arithmetic everybody. I have bitten the bullet. Well at least, I started but it got too miserable to carry on. My prediction for 2008 is that there's going to be a lot more homeless people. Here goes.


Per Day
*Home*
Council tax 2.99
Gas and electricity 2.96
Water and sewage 1.12
Mortgage 6.25
Bank fines for being overdrawn 5 seconds 0.666
The Dog 1.50

*work*
Professional membership costs 1.75
CPD Training 1.00
Rent for work premises 10.96
Fuel to get to work 2.05
Total £31.24
Therefore , to facilitate work and keep the roof overhead it costs £11,402.60 a year.
At this point I gasped and gave up doing sums. Not my favourite thing. Not included in survival costs at this point are:

Other work related costs
Tax
Credit Cards
Food
Clothes
Insurance
A teenage daughter
Car tax, maintenance and insurance
Camping equipment
Chocolate
Dildos from vending machines (see Mermaid, sorry Dennis)
Mobile phone
Broadband and Landline.

How are people going to afford to live? If the national average income is £25k (half that is more usual around here)… My mortgage is tiny compared to most and I only have one child, yet it would seem that everyone wants a huge chunk. Are the government trying to stamp out blogging by making people cut off their internet in order to eat?

83 comments:

Barnsley Bill said...

Sell up and move to Kerikeri Lillith.
It rained today, just to break the monotony of a sunny warm three month spell.

Lilith said...

Sheesh, I am tempted Bill. Britain is unaffordable.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

I love the labels to this post.

Made I larf.

Radio 4 reckons that apart from Norway and France, Britain is the most expensive country in Europe.

Good old NuLabour.

mutleythedog said...

I couldn't agree more Lilith... at the moment I have no work, and no income. People keep demanding money from me, but it just makes me laugh. I don't have any...

Philipa said...

Wow I'm impressed! I should do that but I'm done with sobbing.

fuchsia groan said...

I have made it my New Year resolution not to watch news, read newspapers etc. I am going back to hiding in my attic, the world is all too depressing. The only way forward is for us to give all our money to the government, and they can take care of everything on our behalf. It worked for the soviet union, didn't it? This seems to be Gordon's model. Once a schoolboy Marxist, always a schoolboy Marxist.

Trubes said...

I`m with you on this one Lilith. We`re having dip into ou savings to pay heating bills. EK`s got a post on this Robbing Bas...d Government, they don`t want any of us to have our own money, they want it all for their own mendacious, meddling, greedy ends.
Socialism just doesn`t work.
To quote, "All men are equal, but some are more equal than others".
How`s young Pig Pup, any more Pics of him ? Now, he brings smiles to all !

Lilith said...

Hi Killemall! :-) It is getting like Japan, but without the industry.

Mutley, I am really sorry to hear that. It seems to me that the cost of living has got so high that paying bills is becoming impossible for the employed too. A talented fellow like yourself surely cannot be unemployed for long? Having said that, Elby hasn't had work since June 2006.

I don't want to apply for benefits. It is a nightmare. The Working Tax Credit people have sent me three different bills ranging from £200 to £500 "overpayment" for the year before last! As I don't know which one to pay and none of them show how they arrived at those figures (they were paying me £7 a week) I have no intention of struggling to pay any of them.

Lilith said...

You are not alone Philipa. I don't know how you manage. Herculean task.

Lilith said...

Hi Fuchsia! :-) Yes, lets all give our money to Gordo for safe keeping. Then he can spend it on useful and important things like Northern Rock, The Dome, various crappy IT systems and a never ending war in the Middle East.

Lilith said...

Trubes, yes, and Gordo wants us to save for our pensions? He has gone quite quiet about the need for savings lately. I am sorry to hear that your back is not good still:-(

Tuscan Tony said...

Lilith! I too wonder how people survive in jolly olde Engerlund. When my old dad tells me what he gets in through the door every month, then shows me the outgo, I simply can't believe it. Case in point: I get my Merc people carrier serviced by a guy who really knows what he's doing, and I mean really (works on Ferrari, Porsche, Rolls Royce, and various rally cars of the 70s and 80s (more temperamental than women, that lot)) - I give him £ 11 per hour - cash, natch. My old dad pays 7 times that rate.

However, on the bright side, The Hitch has informed me where a person can procure a "dildo" for £ 2.25, so there is some hope, I think.

Come and live in Tuscany!!!!!!!

Philipa said...

TT - doesn't polly Toynbee have a house in Tuscany?

Lilith said...

Tuscan, you have set off a persistant train of thought and googling with that idea. Hmmm. Tuscany :-)

Lilith said...

Maybe, Pip, but then it is legal to own a gun...so I would feel quite safe.

idle said...

I've just paid the school fees and am reduced to boiling my shooting socks to make soup.

Scroblene said...

Lilith,

Good point, the annual nail-biting begins early this year! I had to do something similar for my bank, and nearly passed out when I got to the bottom line.

We are in fact in free fall, and to be honest, sod it!

electro-kevin said...

God ! I feel the same.

It doesn't seem to matter what you earn. You never catch up.

Just remortgaged the house ... again !

Oh well ...

Feck it ! As they say.

Lilith said...

Oh Idle! Nasty!

Lilith said...

Scrobs and E-K: if hard working motivated individuals like ourselves are struggling/sinking then the whole lot is going down and there is no point in worrying.

Elby and I have decided that the way forward is to let the house to needy immigrants and live in a van....

Tuscan Tony said...

Philipa - yeuch! you've spoiled my Friday. Then and again, it can't be all bad in Tuscany if that old hipppocrite wants to plant her ample posterior here.

idle - Ha ha ha - a rare laugh out loud moment her *awaits the arrival of the Tuscana in the office to check on my work output*

Dennis said...

Not a bad plan to learn a few phrases of Mandarin. E.g.

"Yes, master."

"Shall I polish your left shoe now, master?"

"Thank you, master."

I've stopped buying central heating oil at 50p/litre + VAT. The boiler service alone has gone up 25% year on year (now £100+ for 20 minutes' work) and the tank has sprung a leak, so that'd be another £750 for a new Elfin Safety approved model even before I filled it.

Instead I went along to Edinburgh Woollen Mills and bought 4 fleeces in the sale (£10 for 2, made in China no doubt), and then to M&S for 3 pairs of long johns. Ideal for the belfry.

Actually not a few people are pretty wasteful and could save a lot of money with a few simple tactics, like not throwing food away or insulating the loft to the latest standards.

My best tip is to save £135.50 (and rising) a year, plus electricity, plus capital depreciation, plus all that wasted time, by getting rid of the TV set.

Or perhaps even better, to emigrate to some place not ruled by "socialists".

P.S. About Mermaid's dildo post (could rephrase that!) -- take no notice of my prudish tendency. I tend to whack it down with a mallet whenever it appears.

fuchsia groan said...

Looking on the bright side, the obesity epidemic will be cured as no-one will be able to afford to overeat. This will be the year of baked beans on toast. Luxury.

Lucien Modo said...

Penury is a terrible flatne Before I even step out the door…

Johns & Pegg two piece suit: from £2,120, including VAT (depending on material)
Pair of John Lobb’s Oxford Cap with Brogue Vamp, I wouldn’t dream of telling you this one.
Washington Tremlett 2-fold 100s shirt £300.
Thomas Pink’s socks, £20 a pair.
Loden Salko alpaca overcoat, £400.
Splash of Oliver Creed aftershave at £90.00/4 fl.oz.

Trubes said...

Hi Lilith; Thanks for kind comments re my Buggery Back Problem. I`m so full of misery and self pity that I`ve posted a Health Bulletin on my site. (Well, the Royals issue Health Bulletins so why shouldn`t I?).
I`m even more p....d off to learn that Blair is earning so much money, whilst we`re all bloody well stuggling to pay our bills. Is there no justice in this world ?
i think I`m becoming a Grumpy Old Woman,Hitch was probably right! Talking of Hitch, WTF is he, when I need a Donkey to kick! Humbug !

Lilith said...

Oh Dennis, never whack it down with a mallet!

You are right of course. I can stop drinking wine, sell my wine stash, sell stuff (I got £40 for my NAD 3020a Amplifier the other day...24 years old) so we are not at the wall yet. And I need to lose some weight....

Lilith said...

Yes Fuchsia, although I think the government will want to keep the price of turkey twizzlers artificially low so as to avoid being squashed against the wall by angry obese people.

Lilith said...

Isn't that kind of couture rather wasted in your environs, Mr Modo?

Lilith said...

Sorry Trubes, but Blair is a cunt. A rich cunt. A robbing, lying, twisted, narcissistic personality disordered cunt with blood on his hands. Why anyone would give him a job when he has made such a public jerk of himself in particular and British politics in general who knows?

Lady Jane said...

Modo, you've got me wondering.. Boxers or Briefs?

Don't keep us in suspense;-)

I believe Corporate America is our version of a 'socialist gov't'.
Well, the end result is the same.. they both keep the $$'s out of your pocket:-(

Lilith said...

Lady Jane, I do believe Modo has to meet his tailor and "may be some while" but like you, I wonder...:-)

Philipa said...

dennis - ouch *eyes water*

TT - sorry I was just wondering if we could have a mass blog emigration and squat at her place while she wasn't looking, I mean Lil has got a dog...

Lilith - how 'bout it? rent our abodes to immigrants and take the caravans to Tuscany?? Cripes what a lovely thought :-))

Then again we could start a brothel and sell Kevin

Philipa said...

sorry, I meant we could rent kevin out. Top rates obviously.

Trubes said...

Lilith please don`t apologise to me for calling Blair a "CUNT" because I totally AGREE with all you say. Also I can turn the air blue with my opinions (true blue of course).
The burning question is, WTF can we do to get the lying , cheating, robbing bastards out of office ? Or, is it too late ? My simple little English heart silently weeps.
Di. xx
Pictures of Pig the Pup doggie please. xxxx

Lilith said...

Of course we would only rent Kev out Pip, he's too priceless to sell :-). We could start a brothel in Tuscany...from our caravans...

Lilith said...

Hell, lets all go and live in Tuscany....Trubes, IT MAKES ME MAD.

electro-kevin said...

I'm slightly too old to rent out I'm afraid folks. I look good in celluloid but in reality ...

All bluff and no chuff as Thomas might say.

Forget it. We're all fucked.

;-)

electro-kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mary jane rotten-crotch said...

E-K has a great cock though.

Scroblene said...

Lilith; Can I ask Trubes on your site haw J.P, Morgan can get vaklue out of Blair? She knows banking doesn't she?

I agree with every word you say; he is an absolute shite for all this posturing.

Scroblene said...

You could see I was cross couldn't you - two typos...sorry...;0)

fuchsia groan said...

It makes me physically sick to think of Blair cashing in on the Iraq war in this way. He doesn't need to do anything, just be a name on the letterhead. May he rot in hell.

Daisy said...

no darling...don't cut off the internet...the government is tied in with the credit card companies and they would prefer you go in debt beyond your means and pay them the interest rates...at least that is the american way...soon coming to an english home near you

Philipa said...

wot fushia said.

Lucien Modo said...

.. tweed thong.

Lucien Modo said...

... and just because I reside amongst the lovely Taffies does not mean that I have to let standards slip.

electro-kevin said...

Scrobs, Lilith,

The thought of you both cutting off the internet makes me sad.

fuchsia groan said...

Tweed thong? Thats got to itch.

Trubes said...

Scrobs: The fact is that JP Morgan, Bush and Blair are all in cahoots. I believe that JP Morgan are rebuilding and part funding the Financial Systems in Iraq (we all know who wrecked them !). So, it`s a case of "Jobs for the Boys". Blair, a Mediocre Junior Barrister to Prime Minister to Banker ???????? Marketing Man comes to mind. £500,000. per annum is just a very small commission on a very lucrative transaction, a mere drop in the ocean. Oil Producers/Manufacturers and all the other wrecked Businesses, Infrastructure etc, need Financiers.
Entrance George and Tony.... George likes Oil and Tony likes Money.

Trubes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trubes said...

lilith: I can`t believe i wrote the C... word on your site but it was in context. Prosecco and Morphine seems to bring a bit of naughtiness out in Ol Trubes. Good stuff mind !
The idea of operating a Brothel out in Tuscany does have a certain appeal. Wonder if Tuscan`s got a spare patch on his land to hook-up the Caravans ? I`d have to be the Madame and we could make Hitch the Eunuch, Tee Hee.

Scroblene said...

Trubes; many thanks for this, it just goes to show what a disgraceful bunch of failures do after they have drained the taxpayer of funds.

I really don't know why I don't just spend the rest of my life dreaming up ways to shaft every public body who takes my money.

The utter shower we have in government are really heading for a disaster.

You an' me? We're powerless, except we hate them.

Lilith said...

I am not sure that I believe you Lucien, that that is really how you dress....except for the tweed thongs...don't you find those shirts a real bugger to iron?

Scroblene said...

Sorry Lilith, I seem to have taken to ranting on your site...that would never do, except you've struck a nerve here, and perhaps you should keep the headline for a few days more!

Elecs; don't worry Chum, I'll keep on going if you will!

Anyway, the girls are much nicer here aren't they!

Lilith said...

You are free to f and blind on my blog when you like Scrobs. And that goes for you too Trubes. Sometimes it is the most succinct and vivid way to express oneself.

I can't see myself living without a computer....will give up the car first :-)

fuchsia groan said...

Whenever I see a picture of that grinning idiot Blair, I let the expletives rip. C*** C*** C***. My lovely other half always knows to whom I refer. If ever there was a case for assassination, Blair is it.

fuchsia groan said...

Oh, dear I think I need to lie down.

Lilith said...

You can even write it in full here, Fuchsia, no one will think the less of you. Tony Blair, Alistair Campbell, Peter Hain, Gordon Brown, Ed Balls etc have utterly legitimised the use of that word by anyone who has taken any notice of what they are up to.

But yes, Dear Fuchsia, do have a lie down. I will try and post something cheerful and restorative :-)

mary jane rotten-crotch said...

Me, "Tony - you're a cunt. Your mum's a cunt, your dad's a cunt and your wife's a cunt. If you entered a competition to become the world's biggest cunt you'd come second."

Tony "Why ?"

Me "Because you're a CUNT !"

Lucien Modo said...

My word what a lot of heat and steam! What were any of you expecting from your politicians?
You elect them don't forget; and if their cowardice and short term thinking appalls, it is only because of the fact that if anything radical is decided that the howling public does not like, then they are booted out.
I am afraid to say that your politicians reflect the wants of the society that votes them into power. You can rail against them, but isn't that a tad perverse?

Who amongst you doesn't apply all the rules that would make life better for all?

Cheap food
Cheap clothing
Foreign travel
Cars
Cheap energy
etcetera...

If you want to live in a better world then doing something about it, rather than looking for someone to blame, is a good way to start.

Now it's time for my breakfast whiskey.

Love Modo

Lilith said...

Can we come and live with you, Modo? I could iron your shirts...

Lucien Modo said...

... sorry to kvetch. One of the dogs had shit in the hall, and it rather put me out of step this morning.
Lilith, how I would love that, but then Mrs Yip would be put out of business, and what would happen to all those ten year olds that she employs? I have to be mindful of my responsibilities...

Scroblene said...

Morning Lilith...

"Lamia" (1819)
Poem by John Keats presenting the first Romantic portrayal of Lilith. She is excessively beautiful and is trapped in the form of a snake until freed by Hermes so that she can find the love of her youth, Lycius. She and he live together happily, with him unaware of her mythical past, until, at their wedding, the philosopher Apollonius declares Lilith's name and causes her death. Lycius, unable to live without her, dies also."

'Lamia' is another track on The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I think you must be Peter Gabriel's soulmate and therefore claim my five golden splonders ;0)

electro-kevin said...

Class, Scrobs.

Dear Mr Modo.

You're right in so many ways but remember that Nu Lab only secured something like 30% of the proper vote and we haven't had the chance to elect Gordon Brown.

Nor have we any say on Europe as all major parties are pro (as is the BBC)- the promised referendum has been denied us. We're effectively disenfranchised on this 'choice'. The opposition was unelectable for 10 years post Major.

As for a cheap standard of living ? Well this is about to be changed too. I'm hoping that austerity effects the return to decency and that we become more spiritual and less material.

My beef and rants have been directed at losses of freedom, iniquities in taxation and the failure to deal effectively with crime. If a populace has its decency it can weather all sorts of hardships.

Not all of us are suited to politics (I'm not)and no matter how much we would like to we can effect very little as individuals. Not that we are lazy. I for one help out voluntarily in the community as I'm sure do others.

Lucien Modo said...

Dear Electro,

I hate to be drawn into any kind of political argument; in my experience it is a worthless endeavour… if it hadn’t been then the world would now be a perfect place to live.
But kick me in the ass and call me Leslie, but I can’t bear the bleating anymore. I am sure that each of us has fair and valid points to make. We each of us have our drives and ambitions, and cannot help feeling disappointed even livid when the world seems to ignore our own particular interests.
But how easy it is to have targets to blame.
How many of us would equally attack a fellow member of the public for the innumerable actions that we know collectively have negative effects? No you would say; we have an elected government for making the rules by which we live. I happen to think however that we are each responsible, and not just when we vote for some fellow in a suit.
To repeat myself, politicians will only go so far, they have to please a populace otherwise they are out on their ear. It will only be when we all take a collective responsibility that any politician, of any country, will start to act differently from how they always have done.
Complaining might make you feel less impotent, but as we can tell from history it does sweet Fanny Adams.

And now I am off to talk about girls or something...

Lucien Modo said...

Dear Electro,

I hate to be drawn into any kind of political argument; in my experience it is a worthless endeavour… if it hadn’t been then the world would now be a perfect place to live.
But kick me in the ass and call me Leslie, but I can’t bear the bleating anymore. I am sure that each of us has fair and valid points to make. We each of us have our drives and ambitions, and cannot help feeling disappointed even livid when the world seems to ignore our own particular interests.
But how easy it is to have targets to blame.
How many of us would equally attack a fellow member of the public for the innumerable actions that we know collectively have negative effects? No you would say; we have an elected government for making the rules by which we live. I happen to think however that we are each responsible, and not just when we vote for some fellow in a suit.
To repeat myself, politicians will only go so far, they have to please a populace otherwise they are out on their ear. It will only be when we all take a collective responsibility that any politician, of any country, will start to act differently from how they always have done.
Complaining might make you feel less impotent, but as we can tell from history it does sweet Fanny Adams.

And now I am off to talk about girls or something...

Lucien Modo said...

... I thought it was worth hearing again.

Lilith said...

We can talk about girls, Modo, any time you like :-) Carping not obligatoire. I believe hugely in personal responsibility. In fact, my relationship with My Girl's father lasted another 18months longer than it might have done because of the simple glaring realisations that

a) he was not responsible for my happiness

b) shouting at him didn't change a thing

Lilith said...

Scrobs, I like the Keats, he got near. My source is more Kim Chernin, Reinventing Eve...probably long since out of print. I may post on it one day :-) Peter Gabriel has nothing to do with it, although we do have mutual acquaintances.

Lucien Modo said...

"An American in Paris." Is a real page turner ;)

electro-kevin said...

I liked your response, Lucien. It makes perfect sense.

My blog is mainly stuffed with trivia - some of it personal, some perhaps that I shouldn't air.

In all honesty I just scan papers nowadays. I agree with you already see.

I linked to your site too recently. Hope you're not away for long.

Margo Channing said...

I admit I've seen better days, but I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail and a salted peanut.

fuchsia groan said...

The Miliblog is always worth a look for an insight into how our political classes are thinking. He is currently spelling out the benefits of our membership of the EU. Apparently, it amounts to 5p off the cost of downloaded music. A worthy effort on the part of our esteemed Foreign Minister.

Scroblene said...

Marvellous Fuchsia!

That little twit wouldn't know a good deal if one jumped up and bit him on the arse.

Lilith, I'll try harder next time...

Philipa said...

Blimey, I just happen to be listening to Peter Gabriel, spooky!!

Scroblene said...

Phippers - if you really want to get the full emotion bit, listen to 'Birdy'...

Philipa said...

Scrobs - I thought that was a film, I shall investigate, thanks.

Trubes said...

Crikey Lilith 77 comments, (now 78) and growing, at this rate you`ll have a greater following than Guido, Congrats!
More Pig Dog pleeeese !

Di.xx

electro-kevin said...

Shaking the Tree is my favourite album.

I prefered Genesis with Peter Gabriel in it. I think he's a genius.

Philipa said...

I think Peter was not only talented but just beautiful when he was younger (I'm referring to Peter Gabriel EK, don't get all excited ;-) and didn't realise he's done all the film soundtrack stuff, thanks scrobs. BTW: I remember seeing Birdy on release and thought it was a powerful film and remained in my all time awesome bag for ages.

electro-kevin said...

He's not bad looking now either, is he, Pippy ?

electro-kevin said...

Pips. I might get a picture of my friend IB when he was young and scan it in for you. I think you'd faint, I really do.

Philipa said...

Yup, can't disagree with you there EK.