Joan Ryan shows herself again

Joan Ryan thinks Somerset is "not rural" enough to justify a Passport Interview centre.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! She has clearly never been here.

http://www.epolitix.com/EN/MPWebsites/David+Heath/5956af1f-70ce-4547-8a5e-933c6975b09b.htm

odd neighbours

Ok, I have been in the garden. Its a yard with some flowerbeds on a steep slope, but I love it. This is a photo of it yesterday. By June, July I hope it will be mental with flowers, slugs permitting.

This is my neighbours yard.

It smells like it looks.

Imagine my surprise this week when my neighbours do this

They are cementing over their terrace behind that "fence". I think it will probably smash in the first strong southeasterly, but there you go. In the meantime, its more privacy for us and somewhere to grow my sweet peas. Why they would want to cut the sun off their patch beats me. I think my close-planting style may be offensive to them.

Good News

Spinal Tap are reforming because they want to save the planet. They will perform at Live Earth and have a new song for the occasion: Warmer than Hell.

exerpt: The Devil went down to Devon
It felt like the fourth degree
He said "Is it hot in here,
Or is it only me?"

Talking Heads - Burning Down The House/Life During Wartime

This is how I cheered myself up this morning

Hasn't medicine changed?

This is the worlds first steam driven vibrator c1869. Vibrators, or medical massage devices were invented to save doctors the time and trouble of inducing hysteria-curing paroxysms manualy. Men would call for the doctor if their wives showed signs of hysteria ie. getting wet.

Doctors found this treatment laborious and were hugely grateful for the new machines.

Above is MACAURA'S PULSOCON HAND VIBRATOR
The action is a plunging motion of the center disk at the end combined with a rotating eccentric weight. There were also applicators that would screw into the center disk. It is hand cranked

Vibrator innovation was one of the driving forces behind the creation of the small electric motor.

In 1902 the home vibrator was the fifth electrical appliance to enter the home, just after the sewing machine and before the iron.

The Cost of Dying

http://www.inthenews.co.uk/news/politics/health/crematoriums-feel-strain-obesity-$1077304.htm

Perhaps Funeral Services could offer post death liposuction as a cheaper alternative? The human grease supplies could be processed by Lucien Modo. Would save thousands on building metre wide coffins and new furnaces throughout the country at huge cost to the council tax payer?

Stolen from Theo Spark

For Ratty

Banksy paints the Hitch

St Georges Day

I love this painting but I have always thought George looks a little over enthusiastic, killing the poor girl's pet dragon, as you can see from this detail.

I think she is saying "Was that really necessary?"

And this is St George and The Dog

Note how George has accessorised facial hair to match his pooch.

Groovy animation

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-5503582578132361295

and more

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=7216246366045363026

Things have moved on a little since Fantasia...

James Blunt (rhyming slang)

Never mind allowing the armed services to sell their stories....when are they going to stop them from singing?

Cornwall

I only discovered South West Cornwall three years ago. I have been each spring since. Some crazy quaker dudes set up some EXTRAORDINARY gardens down there over a hundred years ago and they have reached perfection long after the death of their founders. Some are still in the same family that started them, some are owned by the National Trust. My favorites have not been got by the National Trust yet.

There is Trebah for example



Just one of the many lush places that are tucked away down here. It is just not possible to see all the best gardens in a week.



We even got to Tresco for the day in Scilly.



I took the boyfriend and the 16yr old. Asking her if she wanted to come with us for a week in Cornwall hanging out in gardens she responded "Cornwall, with pensioners. Hmm. Ok!"

The fantastic thing about a lot of these places is that they are EMPTY. You can have all the glorious rhododendrons, azaleas and camelias to yourself whilst everyone else is at The Eden Project or Helligan (neither of which I have visited and both of which are considerably more expensive).


The only place we ran into HOARDS of pensioners was on the Tresco Abbey Garden but it is big enough to duck out anyone's path. Daughter expressed surprise at the grey populace. I reassured her . "By the time you are my age, everyone will look like that." I said. I have her in training already. It was lovely however that she enjoyed the week too, and was genuinely astonished by the extraordinary beauty we found.


One morning we were having a leisurely breakfast in the garden of the cottage we rented and we got canvassed by the local council Tory candidate. We 'fessed up to being leftie libertarians and our bile for Mr Bliar and Broon. He was a nice bloke, hard working for his community. What I found fascinating was that he described himself as the

"Only Cornish candidate...all the rest are English".

Holiday

Yippee! I'm off!

This is my boyfriend as a child

Spring

It is gorgeous outside. Today I walked around Westonbirt and thanked the Holfords for planting all those trees over a century ago.. So many different shades of green. Fecund. Rococo blossoms and phallic buds, swoony fragrances blindsiding me. I noticed how little boys of all sizes like to carry sticks. It was so lovely I am surprised Bliar hasn't made it illegal to go there.

Along the route to Westonbirt there were huge billboards letting motorists know that Westonbirt exists. This brings me to something that really ticks me off. The Nu Labour urge to plaster the countryside with "educational" signs. I mean, if you have an area of outstanding natural beauty, and there are a few around here, why spoil it with a score of signs placed every 50 yds saying "Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty"?!

Like you would miss the beauty if you couldn't read.

Nice

Mutley's Makeover

When Mutley came over he was in a really bad way.

He's finding life in Bridport a little fast shall we say.

Over a cup of herbal tea, I listened to his story and then I showed him some before and after photos:

This is Phil.

Before

He is a sheep dog that was having trouble with his comb over. He wanted a more homely everyday look so I did this.

After

Phil was so pleased! He now has a girlfriend.

Mutley had a hot soak.

We were going to have a healthy cauliflower cheese but accidently had the acid laced chardonnay as an aperitif and changed our minds when we opened the fridge.

Mutley really chilled as he watched my lava lamp for 3 hours

I got to work...

He was so thrilled with the results and promises to keep up the number one body cut.!

It was all terrific fun!

Oh! I almost forgot! I gave him a new t-shirt incase he got cold on the way home.

Time to sort it out!

I am amazed but some men do this.

Or this,

with their hair.

Now, some men can't help having difficult hair,

Somehow they pull it off.

Other times they dont.

But in general I am in favour of this option for the folically challenged.

Lets face it. It doesnt even suit the dog.

Happy Easter!

Le Parkour

One of these lads is a school friend of my girl...I am so glad I am not his poor mother...

Spiders On Drugs

This is probably v old as it has been viewed 4 million times on youtube. It made I larf.

Imagine delivering a pizza to this guy...

http://news.independent.co.uk/people/profiles/article2430139.ece

This is my daughter's Daddy

Today's look

My daughter

This is my little girl

The Dangers of Looking a bit Foreign

http://gizmonaut.net/bits/suspect.html

This is long, but horrifying. Poor bugger.

Its Gorgeous out there.

Its a beautiful day.

I have pulled three sacks of this little bastard out of the flowerbeds. I could fill another.




This is going in.



White verbascum

Oh my God Alice Miles is a robot!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/alice_miles/article1610130.ece

"Midwife led?" Calm down dear its only a New Labour pronouncement...I had my baby 16 years ago and was offered a home birth only to be told at the necessary moment that "no midwife was available" and I had to go in. There's far less midwives now.

I had her on Guys Casualty floor.

Teenage contempt

My daughter says blogging is lame and only for old people who cant handle facebook/meebo/beebo/myspace...

Jerry Garcia and Ken Kesey on Electric Kool-Aid Talk Show

I just love Jerry.

Keef

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/04/03/nash103.xml

Famous f****s who copied my face

This is my Dad

Isn't he handsome?

This woman also reminds me of my mother

This woman reminds me of my mother

She is holding a possum. My aunt sent me some possum insoles for my wellies.

Sarah Silverman - German Cars

Sarah Silverman TV Show clip

The Latin for brunch