Wednesday, 12 December 2007

From Guido today, Stanislav

Stanislav email Lord Guido two times already but Irish part of Internet is like Irish navvy and good for fuck all. And very much thanks to be invited to Works' Do and festival of anarchy and pissing up and Xmas cracker full up with dynamite, send to local M fucking P but is most unfortunate will be home in Poland see Old Mother for Christmas and also make sure nieces and nephews is not interfered with by local holy and apostolic child-molesting bastard from Catholic Church, who are, as we speak, colonising fucking Scotland in wake of so many Polish plumber and social worker come to help out with drunken lazy bastard population of incapable, cancerous, long-term, workshy thugs, drunks and prostitutes, or NEDS as their government describes them - honest, fucking government has abusive acronym for own population - good for fuck all only eating like fucking pig, get drunk, recite mournful fucking doggerel of crap poet Burns and die early. So many child-molesting scandal in Scotland - is fucking judiciary sponsored initiative - that a tidal wave of crucifix-wielding nonces make no difference either way. More the fucking merrier, plenty kid to go round. Fuck me, Father, for I am young, is common playground chant among young Jocks.

Glasgow Archbishop Cuomo -yes, fucking Mafia- has free pulpit in Glasgow Herald to preach about public fucking morality. Cheeky cunt. Yes, your fucking Grace, says Editor Douglas fucking Home, just you carry on there, have three fucking pages about evil of sex; Aye right, three pages not enough, no? Have whole fucking issue. We know you're gonna get on top of this noncing thing, Yes, God Bless you, too, your Grace. When the fucking Archbishop isn't at it, the Herald has its own in-house Man of Faith and uberGoodness, useless fucking sanctimonious cunt from Orkney -world capital of officially hushed-up child abuse - called Ron Ferguson. You know, says Ron, every fucking week, can find God, or whatever, in anything, or anywhere, whatever, just, like, you know, believe in some shit or other, that's the thing. Whosoever is raised believing in some shit or other might not get to go on outing with old men in black dresses, leading them beside still fucking waters and fucking them up the arse with big angry red cock, suffer the little children, eh, Lord Robertson ? Or perhaps not, whatever. Right, Ron, fucking well said. A complete perfectly rounded fucking arsehole, Reverend Ron Whatever (Peace, Man, but no drugs, clearly) is like a composite of the late and fucking unlamented Rabbi Lionel BlueCock,…… Good morning Sue and Good morning John, My old mum always said..... off the John Humphries Show and Professor Doctor Sir Raj Persaud, you know, that smarmy oily bloodsucking headshrinker cunt off the daytime telly nightmare. Reverend Ron Ferguson,vague multi-faith platitudes for sale, five pounds per line, the North’s Favourite Columnist, is true, Staislav not invent, holy-roller shit is sydicate all across superstitious Badlands of North. Fucking hell, live in Scotland? Jesus fucking wept. Open-up the Glasgow Herald and its just fucking lies written by lazy fucking worthless moron tossers like Ferguson who wouldn't get a job on Mother Smith's Redditch Advertiser and bits of Radio Four copied down and reprinted two days later.

Government of gangsters, MSM of unspeakable cowardice, dishonesty, banality and trivia; Law Society and Bar Association make Slobodon Milosovic look like good guy; even Edinburgh Royal College of Surgeon say Highlands and Islands doctors is all drunks, misfits and fucking drug addicts and need boot up arse, honest, not invent; BBC worse than anything in England and is a meddling, corrupt, abusive, priesting hierarchy with its fist up the public arse. And don't fucking start Stanislav about Scotch fucking "culture." Fucking tone-deaf, discordant, screeching, howling nightmare noise from darkest, hottest, special punishment area of Hell. Is fucking New Year up here soon, is fucking unbearable for civilised person, like plumber.

So, anyway, have a break, make some fried egg sandwich and fizzy pop for journey and go over in Poland on ferry, see old mum and family and have nice Christmas dinner of sausage and beetroot, wash down with glass of vodka and so can't come to Night of the Anarchists' Year and meet comrades to discuss plumbing requirements.

Very sorry to miss. Come next time if we are not all accidentally shot in improbably large numbers by Nancy Blair's promotion-hungry Metropolitan SWAT blokes making life or death, but mostly death, innit, split-second decisions or banged-up in one of Old Mother Smiths re-education facilities, being force-fed her delicious and easy to prepare SnotBuns (one cup of fresh snot, mix with cup of urine and pound of sugar, dust with bitten-off nailbitings, with bits of blood on roots and serve while warm) whilst being lectured by Ruth Man Kelly and Yasmin Alibhai fucking Brown on the errors of our ways. Have good one and thanks for invite. Which hasn’t come anyway,

Will keep in touch off laptop in van. If any plumbing emergency crop up just turn off water and make best of it. No fucker come out at Christmas.

love from stanislav


ps Mr Hillybilly. Whats all this be nice to one another shit? You is definitely wander in wrong place. Sound like fucking clergyperson.

11 comments:

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

[:-)

Lady Jane said...

Lilith.. I am CONVINCED (in my own head)I have discovered the true identity of Stanislav!!

P.S. Do you copy his posts and save them in a Stanislav folder like I do?? I re-read them for fun;-)

Philipa said...

Compliments of the season Lilith :-)

Lilith said...

Hmmm, you think you KNOW, :-) LJ? Interesting....

Lilith said...

SSN, he is a master of ranting Polish Plumber Prose :-)

Lilith said...

And back at yer Pip :-)

electro-kevin said...

He speaka betta Angleesh dan mosta our keeds.

The Splund said...

Stanislav can reduce the Splund to tears of laughter in the space of a paragraph... generally I find Guido's comments too exhausting to plough through so thanks for reproducing this masterpiece.

The Hitch said...

Where does he find the time?

Lilith said...

I think Hitch, that Stanislav may be a gentleman polish plumber....

Ms Smack said...

hello darling. How are you?