Saturday, 29 September 2007

Discovered on Guido: People I give you Stanislav, the young Pole

Stanislav, a young Pole said...

Stanislav explain nappy shambles. Only pay attention because english inferior of Polski variety.

In eighteenth century, in England was widespread practice of lampoon and satirise monarchy and politician, in pamphlet and illustration. Also on storybook by people like Swift (Gael like Guido)who say Fuck Off, all politician is meretricious cunt et cet., in so many words. Make allegory and metaphor. But also bawdy and vulgar and make much fun of Establishment arse and other parts; make scandalous reference to sexual exploits of rulers. True or not, is profane and outrageous and unspoken threat implicit in lampoon and satire is Go On Then, Deny It, You Cunt. Of course Establishment utter fucking degenerate in one way or other, and maybe worse ways than satirists say, maybe cannibals not just arse bandit, maybe necrophiliac; maybe make early form of Snuff movie, only no movie, of course, not invented, but participate anyhow in vile practice and then stand up in public and talk Moral Compass shit.

So Establishment just ignore commonplace accusation of being horrible, unspeakable fucking pervert degenerates and walk around like fucking saint, or next best thing,Fucking Son of Fucking Manse. People laugh out loud as dirty shit-eating scumbag hypocrite talk morality out of mouth stained fecal brown.

Time pass and people lose interest. Television come and Hollywood and Beatles; people sit around stupified by lust and envy and desperate longing for huge wealth and big car and pussy which Establishment say can have if only vote for me and work hard. Is call Jam Tomorrow and is rework of Christianity. In nineteen sixties bunch of lazy public school cunts - Richard Ingrams, Peter Cook and Christopher Booker make new satire, make Magazine, Private Eye, and start in again on calling all politicians thieving, lying, degenerate, kidnapping, blackmailing, back-stabbing, gun-running, drug-dealing, child molesting, arsonist, thieves, murderers, adulterous, paedophile homosexual, alcoholic, cross-dressing wife beaters. Bit like Scotchmen, really. And making cartoons for make politiicans look like the cunts they all are, without exception, but especially Jack Straw. This go on for forty year and become itself part of Establishment. Cunt Hislop, poisonous fat dwarf and TV personality is editor of Private Eye and friend of Establishment. Worst kind of cunt. Make awards to politicians. Hislop almost honourary M fucking P. Cunt.

And then, along come Guido, more accurate along come BlogWorld. And people are ranting and raving about thieving cunt politician, lying, inbred web-toed monarchy parasite who can't squeeze own toothpaste but have fucking poorly-paid bumboy to do for. Who marry fucking deranged neurotic spoilt bitch lunatic slapper, make fucking heirs to fucking throne while still fuck wife of fellow officer in British Army and everybody go: Oh Yes your majesty, fuck my wife, Oh No, Sir, please fuck my wife, don't bother fucking your own wife, she's fucking half the NHS. OK Yah.

Is explosion of resentment on internet. Newspaper is shit, same couple of hundred cunts all switch around . Write what told by criminal like Lord Fucking Black and slapperwife Tits Amiel and Fascist Cunt Murdoch. Do exactly as fucking told. Go on CuntDimbleby programmes and agree with what all other cunts say, get pissed, grab cheque and go in public toilet looking for love on way home. Go home and breath smell of BBC wine and semen. Get up write moralising column fof Daily Mail: Gerry and Cilla McCann are innocent, War with Portugal. Shit like that. Call journalism. People sick of all this shit being published and only letters from cocksuckers on letters pages.

Anyway, anonymously, the people rise up in cyberspace, say fuck off Andrew Rawnsley, jumped up Westminster rentboy in a suit, fuck off Polly Mascara, horrible old peroxide class traitor; fuck off Richard LittleCock, you fucking mouthy fucking pissed-up moron; fuck off Will Hitton with your phony fucking correspondence course economics, you fucking useless fucking gabshite con artist drunken arsehole; fuck off all you newspaper cunts. And, all of a sudden, we are back in the eighteenth century and the people are laughing like drains at the antics of the rulers.And the journalistst. The priesthood of the political writer, wherein sad old drunks like Anthony Howard sought to mediate, on our behalf, with the scum at the top, is defrocked. Nobody outside the charmed circle of medialand gives a fuck what Anthony Howard thinks, they would rather log-on to their favourite blogger and get the real shit and have a good rant, knowing that at least some of what they say will find it's target.

Stanislav, for instance, six month now, personally plant rocking horse blues all over fucking world. Not know if true there is picture of Gordon Brown wearing nappy sit on rocking horse, otherwise naked. Not know, not care. Doesn't matter. Read somehere that picture exist. Good enough. Stanislav personally spend many hours write masturbation satires of Gordon Brown Ace Wanker. So do many others, has been said so much that is now true; even if not, But is. Stanislav thrilled to read of Wanking Competition/Festival et cet., as though is just a fact of life. Whole country know that prime minister spend every spare minute in wanking frenzy. Job Done.

But here's what's true. the whole world has seen the Chancellor of the UK, as he then was, picking his nose and eating it. ON THE FRONT BENCH OF THE HOUSE OF FUCKING COMMONS IN FRONT OF SIX HUNDRED PEOPLE AND BILLIONS IN A WORLDWIDE TV AUDIENCE. His personal habits are more than a wee bit extreme for him to do this.

What else is true is that all his life he has been a bachelor gay; holidaying in the bastion of morality, Ted Chappaquiddick Kennedy's New England. At the age of fifty, however, with the prospect of Tony Blair at last being driven from office, Gordon felt a prime ministerly compulsion to get married and have children. At the age of fifty. So clever and capable and far-sighted is Gordon that he left marriage until an age when his sperm would only produce stillborn or disabled children. Now he pretends to us that he has been one-of-us, a hard working family man all his life. And not a bachelor gay. He got married of course to help his chances of being elected prime minister. That's a bit weirder than dressing up as a baby. On a rocking horse.

The rocking horse thing may be true, as in that it actually happened. Or it may just be true in the sense that so many -countless, maybe including George Dubya, he must've heard about it- people want it to be true and believe it to be true, that it is true. Like God. An article of faith. A Son of the Fucking Manse'd understand that.

Hope this make clear. Is popular uprising and people make payback to spinning cunt like Campbell. Gordon Brown facetious, platitudinous, moralising, incompetent, bombastic hypocrite; make illegal war, make mountain of debt, make filthy shithole hospital give Stanislav MRSA, make rich richer, poor poorer; make bankers rich, make poor people not afford buy home, take bribes for peerage and say Not Me, Guv; make dead babies when never should be father at fifty; talk non-stop about British Vahl -ewes, as though no other country was any good for fuck all, and hear dead father sermon in head.

I ask you. Does this cunt sit on a rocking horse dressed in a nappy ?

Bet your fucking life he does. And much, much worse.

4:04 AM, September 29, 2007

28 comments:

fnusnuank said...

Thanks for that, I missed this one on Guide. One of his bests, I had thought he was losing it!

Vote Stanislav!

Nonny said...

That was an excellent post but what are we to do, it doesn’t matter who is in office, they are all the same. Corrupt.

electro-kevin said...

Did you really write this, darling Lilith ???

I am in utter pain with laughter - get me an ambulance ... quick !!!

xx

Lilith said...

No E-K I DID NOT WRITE THIS! It is the heartfelt outpourings of Stanislav, a young Pole, who has appeared on Guido. I wish I had written it.

fuchsia groan said...

Genius. Stanislav for PM.

electro-kevin said...

D'oh !

Says so at the top of the post.

Ed said...

Pure genius.

Soon blogs will be part of the establishment and we'll have to go and stand on soapboxes in Hyde Park to be heard...

hatfield girl said...

It's Elby and I claim my £5.

Lilith said...

I think a lot of us have an Inner Stanislav, HG.

mutleythedog said...

Is it The Hitch?

The Hitch said...

Mutley
He is my heir
The heir to Hitch
Like you I have been neutered.(+:

godless said...

more stanislav please. tears of laughter.

Lilith said...

We love Stanislav!

Verge said...

Thanks, Lilith, like the guy at the top I missed this one on Guido. Laugh-out-loud funny at times. The only question is who works best for its (imaginary)delivery. I don't really buy the Pole routine but find a combination of Jose Mourinho (remember his classic "fifty five policemen to make city of London safe from my three centimetre dog"?) and Al Fayed ("what his name, some Duke of Shit...Prince Philip fucking Nazi...Charles Prince marry woman face like crocodile and arse like horse") works best.

Anonymous said...

this guy he also make funny with Mcaann case on old Hitch site , give wonderful exposition of middle class hypocrisy , very easy to get into rythm of talk this way , problem to then get out every one think you numbnut and exclude from polite society

45govt said...

Brilliant! Thanks for giving it a well deserved wider publicity.
Stanislav can not be accuse of bias!

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