Saturday, 18 August 2007
Wise words from the Hitch
"My advice is to stay away from any addict, whatever the substance, until they sort themselves out.
Taking it or kicking it is a personal choice."
It has been a strange week. Boyfriend's brother came to stay. On his last night he got drunk and started picking a fight with me. I wouldn't fight (the terms and references of his argument swivelled here and there) and he got nastier and nastier until I walked away. I looked at him and he appeared very much as the illustration above. The next day I was in shock and didn't want to be around him or look at him. I couldnt speak beyond "would you like a cup of tea?"
He impatiently asked me to "drop it" (when I had said nothing). He asked me why I couldn't "just let it go?".
Once upon a time, relationships were frequently more important to me than my peace of mind. Now, my peace of mind is more important to me than any one relationship. If I don't trust someone, whether I love them or not, I cannot relax with them, and life does not have enough years left to spend time with unpredictable people whose contempt for me is released by a drink too many.
I had thought us friends. I was completely taken by surprise. I had spent a total of three weeks hosting him. He was a charming guest. This was a week ago.
Now, to add to the trauma, he has sent several contemptuous, rude and unpleasant emails to us complaining that we are unforgiving, narrow minded, pompous, blinkered, whinging and, to crown it all, justifying all he said and did last Friday night.
I have been very careful to be clear with him why I have stopped trusting him and why that is not helped by his justification of his actions. And now he can fuck right off. Fortunately, he lives in America.