Losing my mind

It has happened again. Ebay has lured me in and is exploiting my soft head. A lack of blog posts is in part due to spending hours "shopping" on Ebay and then, because I have spent so much money, I had to spend hours working out how to sell stuff back/get photos onto my computer from the Blackberry... Four years ago I bought a lot of china, in about 10 different lots, which I then gave away.... It is a dangerous pastime.



Then there is the Blackberry...I "upgraded" and am still trying to work it out..After 10 days I worked out how to put voicemail on. After two weeks I worked out how to get the ring tones I want, or at least ringtones I can stand. Elby said forlornly to Pig when I came home with over-specified mobile phone "Sigh, it's just you and me now, Pig"...I have worked out that people are not actually addicted to their Blackberry, they are just trying to remember how to get to their photos/messages/contacts...

Update: This guy is a prankster or what. Funny.

Remembrance

Fontmell Down October 2009

The house my great grandpa built

Scroblene has posted about his father and uncle building the houses he grew up in/next to. It made me think of posting this, which is the house my great grandfather built and my grandfather, and father and a multitude of great aunts and a few uncles all grew up in. They were farmers, mainly hay and sheep. The place is close enough to the sea to have been flooded by a tidal wave once, ruining the land for years. Sadly neither my father nor any of his three brothers took to farming and eventually it was sold after my grandfather and step gran died. I last visited when I was nine, and it had a red roof back then. Otherwise the view is the same. My dad brought us all over to England when I was 4 and now I am more English than the English (except that I still have that terrible colonial habit.. you know the one, a lack of pre-verbal censorship: things that would remain unspoken by any self respecting English woman, pop out ...)

Check out the views here: Esk Valley Lodge

Update: Here is a 9 year old Lilith and her little sister looking at the view from the farm.

My first movie (well, not exactly)

I love this song, it has been going around my head for days. Then I discovered Windows Movie Maker and this is the result!

The song is Forgiveness by The Lonesome Sisters with Riley Baugus

Iran run by Jehovah's Witness equivalent

I thought this programme interesting. Unfortunately there is only one day left to listen. It seems that Mr ArmouredDinnerJacket is upsetting both the Clerics and the populous of Iran by adhering and promoting his own particular minority religious beliefs. It struck me that Iran is run by an Islamic equivalent to radical Jehovah's Witnesses. Ahmadinejad believes that when the Twelfth Imam returns from his centuries long exile (no, he is not dead) that everything will be alright. The Clerics are upset because this means they will all get beheaded. The end is nigh.

Update: According to the Iplayer info the programme is available till 2099...?

Irresistable

Jack Torture is at it again

Blimey, you have to keep a close eye on these fuckers don't you?

More holiday stuff

One of the reasons I have very few photos is that I take photos like this


and Calfy takes photos like this



I liked the shopping, it is so different to here, with the dusty sweets:



The smoking semi naked mannequins


and tiny shops

This particular shop was called Johnny Minaret, where Johnny announced "Very small shop, very big welcome, very good price" and let us take a picture.

Old Damascus has a mixture of the very ancient



and the highly sophisticated.


With many lovely things to look at or eat

Archway and lantern


The Umayyad Mosque


Puddiing



One of the oddest things we saw was in the inner most sanctum of the Convent of St Thekla.

There, hanging across a Madonna and Child painting over the reliquary, was a gurt big bling chain with a DVB (David and Victoria Beckham) crown hanging off it. These sacred crowns were available in the gift shop in gold or silver and the Crown itself was about 3"x2"....

For the uninitiated and blissfully ignorant, the DVB crown logo looks like this



By the end of the 10 days my work was done. With Calfy safely married off


I could return home in full peace of mind.

Back from Damascus

What a wonderful trip it was. Anxious mother converted to reassured mother. Axis of evil unidentifiable. Very friendly place, very few beards.*

The first thing you notice about Syria, arriving in the dark, is that there are pictures of Mr Assad everywhere.


He was even gazing benevolently down upon us as we sat draped in a sheet, drinking sweet tea, in a Hammam.

This is not a picture of the Hammam we went to, and obviously it was women only when we went, but I don't have a pic for you :-)

Syria is a police state, but this has some advantages over our own. For example, the people are forbidden for blethering on about religion, except in context, i.e. in a church or a mosque. This was refreshing. Also, Muslims and Christians and all their different sub sects seemed to get along fine, not simply tolerating each other.

What with the £ being worth two thirds of what it was (there are 70ish SYP to the £)and two million Iraqi refugees, never mind the Palestinians, the cost of accommodation in Damascus is relatively high. Hotels cost what they do here. We stayed in a Hostel (twin room, private shower, breakfast, extraordinarily helpful and friendly staff) for 40 Euros a night so we were in the budget range, but it was very conveniently located, welcoming and fun. They also met us at the airport.

Food is very cheap. We had a blow out meal at the best restaurant in the Old City, three courses and way more than we could eat for £30 on the last night. Generally we were hard pressed to spend a tenner on a restaurant meal and could buy delicious falafel wraps for 30pence and a freshly squeezed juice for 50pence. I thought "Old Holborn would love this..all his family could eat at the best restaurant in town for £15 a head!"

There were not huge quantities of European tourists, and most of those were retired French folk. The souk was used by the locals and not just tourists. Prices varied wildly but Calfy and I were fairly ruthless barterers...I don't mind bartering at all, in fact I have trouble stopping when I get back to the UK.

There were off licences in the Christian Quarter but I only drank on the last night, and then only a single lovely beer...alcohol is not at all practical in that searing heat and I didn't miss it. I also heard that Syrian wine is not up to much. Give me fresh lemon and mint any day. And so they did.

Calfy bought a pirate dvd of Shrek...it was an immaculate rip off offering Arabic, Arabic with English subtitles, English with Arabic Subtitles, English, French, French with Arabic subtitles etc.. and all the extras were on there too. £0.50. A bargain way of learning the language :-) We didn't buy any music as the performers don't get any royalties, but didn't mind Disney.

People were very helpful. Random strangers would help us get onto the right bus, even if it meant getting off the bus themselves and crossing the (alarming) roads with us, and flagging down the appropriate bus. We saw a lot of women in hijabs but it just seemed a very practical option with all the dust about, and combined with skinny jeans, Victoria Beckham style heels and as much makeup as you might see on a transvestite, hardly "modest" or oppressive.


I will see if I can organise a few holiday snapshots to bore you with and write some more soon. In the meantime, do visit Calfy's Blog as she is still out there and has a much better camera.





*
Beards have their (limited) place. They are acceptable if

A) shaving brings the face up in a ghastly rash that takes days to subside e.g. My mate Mark
or

B) if the chin is indistinguishable from the neck e.g. Jerry Garcia
or

C) the shaven chin causes the poor chap to be mistaken for 16 in spite of being 30
e.g. My mate Greg
or

D) the beard wearer just looks weird without one e.g my mate Electro-Kevin
or

E)the wearer is ancient and female


I am not a beard fascist and I am prepared to allow that there may be some other perfectly good reasons for wearing a beard, but being a nonce or a sky pixie enthusiast, or a lazy hippie with an illegal ponytail and a bald patch are NOT examples of them.

Desert Island Dancing #2 in an occasional series

Farewell for a while whilst I go get meself some culture. In the meantime this is another track that gets me dancing round the kitchen. I am not sad to leave the Labour Conference behind and fully expect Baroness Scotland to have resigned by the time I get back.

Google, the font of all knowledge and truth.....

Try googling French military victories and press the "I'm feeling lucky" option and THIS is what you get....

Calfy sent me this screen shot too....

Calfy in Rome

The morning after her acquittal Calfy sped off to Rome for a few days to refresh her spirit. As you do. Which was nice.

Sick

New Labour have finally made me ill. I think it's an ulcer.

Unscheduled holiday

Last week I got an email from My Girl that was simply a flight booking confirmation. On closer inspection it appeared she has booked to fly to Damascus where she intends to study Arabic. After I had come out of a spin, I calmed down, talked to her father, and have booked to go with her! Only for 10 days, to satisfy myself that she is settled in her studies and to have a bit of a holiday, but as you can imagine, there is quite a bit to do beforehand. I hope to bring back a suitcase full of rose oil.

Stolen post

STRAINS IN BLAIR-BOOTH MARRIAGE


FUCK ME, JESUS. WILLYA JUST LOOKATHAT. AND ME A CARDINAL.

(Lifted from Call Me Ishmael, because it made me laugh and laugh)

First Casualty of the Independent Safeguarding Authority

Dear Elby, who raised four lovely children who are now four lovely adults, three of whom work caring for the severely handicapped, worked hard to give his children a Steiner education. He was very involved, as the school operated on a shoestring and parental involvement was essential to keep the place running. He now has (well deserved but unplanned) time on his hands and was thinking of volunteering at the local Steiner school, with his wealth of experience.

However, he doesn't feel that paying a fee to the ISA is worth doing for the sake of offering the school his skills. A CRB check is one thing. A further ISA check is quite another. How very sad. Schools can't be expected to pay for these checks and why should volunteers have to find the money when they aren't even earning? For him to have these checks, I would need to find the money, something I am reluctant to do because I believe the requirement is pernicious, pointless and will not protect anyone except tax revenues.

What a waste of his skills and good intentions!

Funny comment on Dale shock

Nightmare. The news that we are all suspected paedos, drunk drivers, smokers, and generally not fit to be around children really depressed me today. I occasionally work with children and many of the adults I work with could be described as "vulnerable" but I have no idea if this new legislation applies to me as every one I work with comes to me voluntarily and we have a private agreement that I try and help them.

Raedwald and Angels in Marble both blogged on this today, and so did Iain Dale and I am too frothingly furious to add anything coherent.

This comment under Dale's post made me laugh.

Duyfken said...

This reminds of a recent anecdote from Australia. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.

Caption Competition, Christine Keeler edition

Apologies to RVI

Obsolescence: Gordon Brown to expire in a month.

A spokesman for Polaroid said "We had to stop production. Only a few cranks and perverts will miss him. The technology is obsolete and nobody wants Gordon Brown anymore. Eventually all remaining polaroid shots of him will fade and turn blue"

Article here

In the interest of balance

H/T Mr Ishamael Smith